You’d Think You Could Buy This, But You Can’t

by Erin on June 23, 2005


topshop wrap dress

That is, you can't if you're me, because the store it's from, the UK High Street chain Topshop, is so completely sensory-overload, all the time, that even if you do dare wander in, you wander out again shortly, dazed, bleeding from your ears, and uncertain of basic information that you went in with, like your date of birth and what the hell you were looking for in the first place.

So you think, oh, okay, it's 2005, now they must have a web site! And of course they do, and it's a flashtastic eyefuck of A Clockwork Orange proportions, and it's all you can do to grab this screencapture and get out of there with your on-good-terms relationship to your retinas intact.

So. Click on the image, if you dare, to try to purchase this £35 dress. I didn't even get as far as checking their international shipping rates. If you get in and get out without turning into a drooling mess, please report back. You'll get a hero's welcome.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous June 23, 2005 at 11:27 am

I couldn’t even FIND that dress. What an irritating website.

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butasong June 23, 2005 at 12:15 pm

International shipping: contact them at info@zoon.co.ukGEE THANKS TOPSHOP! YOU MAKE THIS SO EASY!That said, I do rather like their large collection of Dr. Pepper-inspired jackets. Sad that the website is giving me a seizure.

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Louise June 23, 2005 at 9:18 pm

How odd, I JUST saw that dress on the Top Shop website yesterday, and tried to see what it would cost with shipping, etc., but no, I couldn’t. I also couldn’t find a sizing chart. But I do love it.

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Twitchy Jane June 24, 2005 at 12:51 am

Sigh. The last time I checked (which was about a month ago) they didn’t offer international shipping. Unfortunately, that goes for all the other cool shops under the same management or whatever as well (like Warehouse and Miss Selfridge). Loved the dress too :(

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polyglot conspiracy June 25, 2005 at 4:50 pm

Are those 3D butterflies flitting about over the already-over-colorful homepage images, or am I on LSD?It’s like a few years ago when you would walk into a Benetton store and it was just this blinding white light over the whole store, and all the clothes were also white, because that was ‘in’ that season, and it felt like you were either in heaven or an extremely hip hospital ward in the Hamptons in the year 2040. You had to leave immediately and go to the Starbucks across the street, just to feel normal again. Except now the experience is online.Kudos on use of “eyefuck.”

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polyglot conspiracy June 25, 2005 at 4:58 pm

PS – Didn’t know you had started this site – well done. Welcome (for specifically ADAD) to the b’sphere!

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Erin June 25, 2005 at 11:43 pm

Thanks!And yes, the 3D butterflies are features of the site, not bugs (ha ha).(And thanks for noticing “eyefuck”, I’ve been trying to use it in this way after arguing with GB of DTTW about its definition. I promise this is the only way I’m gaming the language system … right now.)

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Anonymous June 27, 2005 at 12:22 pm

to see dress, go to top shop and click “view by” then “dresses”. at dresses note microscopic arrow lower right,click to view all dresses, also to find out none available in right size even if friend in U.K. this summer and agreeable to picking up things for you :-(

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misskate April 6, 2010 at 6:45 am

I have just started reading your site from the beginning and this entry is hilarious! I have been to TopShop and know of what you speak, but even without that experience, I am sure I still would have laughed out loud!

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