When someone says “Technofur?” YOU say “No, thank you.”

by Erin on July 27, 2005


ebay item 8305987417

Holy Mother of God, look at this dress. You know, if you had asked me yesterday, "Hey, Erin, what word would you think would be least likely to follow the word techno?" I would have come right back with "Fur, definitely fur." But I would be wrong … because here is Technofur, in all its "glory." Now I know what Furbies wear to go clubbing.

According to FreshBakedGoods.com, who is selling this dress (click on the image to go there), "TechnoFur is available in: black, bright red, burgundy, bronze, light grey, dark grey, lime, hot pink, bright turquoise, [and] white." You know, nobody on the planet can wear a white Technofur dress and look good. (Yes, not even Scarlett Johansen. But I bet Chloe Sevigny might TRY.) Trust me on this.

I don't even want to know how much they had to dope up that model to make her smile like that. Especially when I know she's thinking "dress itches … mustn't scratch … dress itches … mustn't scratch …"

If this dress makes you go "oooh, I want!" and feel all tingly? You are dead to me. Seriously. But — as a parting kindness — if you do throw caution, good sense, and all hope of personal style to the wind and get this dress? Please don't wear it with these shoes. Thank you.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous July 27, 2005 at 9:36 am

How about wearing those shoes with this? Because dude, I love lucite heels. =)–Lydia

Reply

Erin July 27, 2005 at 9:45 am

I don’t make pronouncements about what to wear with bathing suits. Knock yourself out! :-) Hey, I keep meaning to ask you — have you ever made your McCalls’ 4050? The one with the pleated bust? How did it work?

Reply

erik July 27, 2005 at 2:17 pm

Last weekend at a party, a guest asked what I thought of technofur. I dribbled something like, “Yeah, I dug their earlier stuff, but I just burned out on it. I really only listen to anti-folk now.” Oops!

Reply

butasong July 27, 2005 at 5:38 pm

I find that shoe site more disturbing than the dress. I… I have no words. They… the hell?I have never seen so much wrongness concentrated in one area in my life. I think I might be Amish, because this site is seriously freaking me out.

Reply

Anonymous July 27, 2005 at 5:49 pm

I think what makes the dress so hideous is actually the yarn pattern and style itself, rather than the technofur – in googling “technofur” (because aside from being an intriguingly terrifying concept, it’s also an interesting word, as you pointed out) it seems that it’s actually an adored-by-knitters-for-its-fluffy-softness yarn, which is all I can find from several knitting message boards (and they all also mention that it doesn’t itch…are we to believe??).

Reply

Erin July 27, 2005 at 6:04 pm

You’re probably right about it being beloved by knitters, but it still looks like dead Muppet.If it doesn’t itch, it probably tickles, right?

Reply

Anonymous July 28, 2005 at 12:49 am

I like the color and pattern of the fabric. I think I would have to get a swatch to be wierded out by the texture. If that were cotton, it would make an awesome blazer and skirt set. Don’t get up. I’ll ban myself.

Reply

Erin July 28, 2005 at 7:07 am

Actually, I *could* see this in cotton! It’s the fuzzy that gets me. I don’t like fuzzy.

Reply

Anonymous December 16, 2006 at 3:32 am

this dress is a nice 1 4 weddings but i dont like it if your just going on a day out wouldn’t you agree?

Reply

Anonymous December 16, 2006 at 3:34 am

i mean look at it its….its….erm….its…just HORRIBLE YUK YUK YUK!only for wedding is what i recomend!

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: