Write This Caption, Please.

by Erin on September 22, 2005


ebay item 8305987417

Sometimes a pattern arrests me with the illustration, not the design, especially when it is supposed to show the glamorous life you will lead in whatever dress it is that you will be making. This one looks like a still from a bad movie, but I can't decide what the hell that guy is saying! Help me out — is he saying:

"Miss Monroe, you look simply ravishing. And, as you well know, my … tastes … lie in a different direction."

"Don't look now, but that's my ex-wife and her greasy gigolo — I said, DON'T LOOK!"

"After tonight, you'll never have to go back to the typing pool ever again!"

"See that man? I'm going to have him killed. No, not him, the one on the left."

"I really enjoy standing in for Mr. Brosnan. What is Ms. Zimbalist like?"

"Look, there's another woman wearing the same dress! Vogue 1066, right?"

"No, you're right, the ice sculpture is definitely supposed to be 'Guernica.'"

I'm not sure what he's saying, exactly, but something is making this poor woman freeze like a deer in the headlights. Maybe she left a pin in a seam, and has just found it? Maybe she realized too late that her glittery and bare evening-y dress is just not suitable in broad daylight, at what is evidently a business function?

There's another pic of it here, which shows that the weird front top panel of the skirt becomes a sash in back. Why? Because it can. Anyway, if all this speculation has made you fall in love with this Molyneaux pattern, you can buy it from the Blue Gardenia for $35. It's B34.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

lauren September 22, 2005 at 7:33 am

“I know you’re just a mannequin, but…”"Excuse me for intruding; I thought this was a print ad for my Rolex.”"Do not be alarmed by my giant golden yellow silk bowtie–no–husssssh! Look away, sweet pretty. Look away.”

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Anonymous September 22, 2005 at 8:45 am

“My boss is the guy on the left. Make sure he gets a good look at your breasts. Sleep with him if you have to, just get me that promotion.”

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oliviacw September 22, 2005 at 9:29 am

“My broker is E. F. Hutton, and E. F. Hutton says….” “I’d love to see what you can do with that wet noodle you are holding in your hands.”

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Shawn September 22, 2005 at 10:09 am

“Steph’s okay, but I have to say I’m surprised to see ‘Mr. Bond’ doing Lifetime movies already.” You are cracking me up, Ms. ADay!

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flea September 22, 2005 at 10:11 am

“Maybe if I look especially witty and tweak my bow tie, nobody will notice that I am talking to a department store dummy.”

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Jonquil September 22, 2005 at 10:58 am

“Remember the coffee you drank 20 minutes ago? I poisoned it.”

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Jennifer September 22, 2005 at 3:18 pm

“Your surgeon did a great job. You *totally* look like a woman, Bob! You interested in grabbing dinner later on?”

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jrochest September 22, 2005 at 6:28 pm

“Hey…isn’t that your mother in the chartruse mini?”

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Anonymous September 23, 2005 at 1:04 pm

“Can you BELIEVE she’s done pork chops? Who are we, the Dukes of Hazzard County? And there’s no place to sit! Buffets are for FINGER FOODS.”"Well, wait til you get a taste of the creme brulee. I swear it’s made of plastic.”Cari

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enc September 23, 2005 at 3:43 pm

“Oh god, why did I let Serge style my hair this way!?”

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