New Converts!

by Erin on November 18, 2006


croatian folk dress
Check out Peggy Duffy's Notre Dame dress story, kindly sent to me by Becky … Peggy had to wear a dress to an event and went from dreading it to enjoying it in a very short time. Anyone else have any conversion stories? I love to hear them!

This dress, by the way, has nothing to do with Peggy's story; it's just the first interesting thing I found googling "Notre Dame dress" and it's from an exhibit of Croatian textile design at the Clara Fritzsche Library. Well worth checking out; click on the image to go visit!

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

Zoltar Panaflex November 18, 2006 at 5:15 pm

The only ‘conversion’ story I can relate is more about adapting a style, not a particular dress.When I was a younger kid, maybe 14 or 15, I was always desperate for a dollar, my parents refused to give me an allowance, I ought to do chores simply to be grateful, etc.So when I got the chance to make a buck, I jumped at it. Even if, looking back, I was putting myself in a rather moronic position.My mother was in this snooty social group comprised of airline pilot’s wives. They all had parties. This one woman always had the ‘big bash’ at her house, so she also needed a dishwasher. My mother ‘volunteered’ me. I did get paid $20 for about five hours’ of constant dishwashing, which wasn’t bad.The fact that the woman who threw the party had a ‘costume’ for me was the bad part. I had to stand there, wearing a floor-length black dress, a fluffy white apron, and a white cap – simply to do dishes.I only did it once. It just wasn’t worth the $20 to stand there like a lost English parlor maid.Years later, I found myself undergoing some ‘changes’ and one of my favorite outfits was a long, flowing black skirt, which I wore with a Victorian slip, which was thick with white cotton lace. It probably sounds odd, but I got a lot of compliments and all that….but other than color and era, it was nothing like the poly/cotton scullery maid get up from years before.

Reply

Anonymous November 18, 2006 at 8:01 pm

My conversion story: After wearing jeans exclusively throughout my teens (hey, it was the 1970′s, it was the uniform), I had the horrifying experience of seeing a video taken of me walking away from the camera in those so-called “slimming” tight jeans. I was not heavy, but have a long pelvis and a rather flat rear end, and the vision of myself encased in tight denim in motion – well, let’s talk about a lady moose in pedal pushers, shall we? It was NOT attractive. I nearly cried.I went home and burned all my jeans in the driveway, and I have never put on a pair of pants again. Not long after, my grandmother, who had always worn graceful and beautiful dresses, became a convert to slacks, and seeing how they made her look bulgy and dumpy and drew attention to the fact that her derriere had shrunken to two little rolls cemented my resolve. The majority of women are not flattered by pants, and if they could see themselves, in motion, from behind, wearing those pants they are sure look good when they’re standing still in front of a mirror, looking at the front view – they would have the same reaction. Pants are not cut for the average woman’s figure, even pants that are supposedly designed and made for women. What pants do to a heavy woman is something else again, and they are most unflattering on older women who are losing their figures due to the natural ageing process.I have worn dresses and skirts since 1978. I always wonder at the fussing about how “uncomfortable” dresses are from devoted pants wearers, or how they always get yeast infections from wearing “airless” pantyhose – as if those skintight jeans made of denim that give you a camel toe are not airless? If panty hose are a drag, wear thigh highs, or do what my granny called “the old lady trick” and wear a midcalf dress or skirt with knee highs. Wear socks. Make like the ladies in Australia where I live and don’t wear hose at all. You don’t have to wear towering uncomfortable high heels with a dress, as the writer of the linked essay seems to think. Flats are fine, a decently proportioned heel with some substance to it is fine too. Sneakers are fine! She could have gone to her cocktail party in a medium heel or even a kitten heel and been dressed properly. Sometimes people are so silly, and they limit their dress choices so much by doing the “dresses are uncomfortable” thing.And if people wonder how limited my activities are since I wear only dresses and skirts – well, I hike, ride horses, ride bicycles, walk a lot, run my own shop, climb up on ladders, garden, and all kinds of other physical activity while wearing dresses and skirts. Bloomers or leggings if it’s cold or I’ll be horseback riding – otherwise, it’s the comfortable freedom of a dress or skirt.

Reply

Zoltar Panaflex November 18, 2006 at 8:26 pm

I should have also said it’s a rare/rare day that I wear a dress. I don’t own much in the dress department. I guess I’m one of the people the second poster refers to as the minority that looks decent in pants. I’ve always said I have a pants butt. I wear suitpants though, no jeans, no skin-tight anything, no sky-high heels at all.Last time I wore a dress, I was maid-of-honor at my sister’s wedding and I caused a noisy furor when I appeared in my dress, people in my family were flabbergasted to say the least.Dresses are pretty, and girls in dresses are even prettier, and that’s one reason I love Adad – it celebrates the simple concept of fashion for joy’s sake I think.

Reply

Anonymous November 18, 2006 at 9:45 pm

I’m said she feels she committed a fashion faux pas by being one of a pair who showed up in proper attire. Just because everyone else is underdressed doesn’t mean she was overdressed.Unless, of course, she’s referring to wearing hose with open-toed shoes. That is a fashion crime.

Reply

Anonymous November 18, 2006 at 10:25 pm

Um, that would be “sad,” not “said” in the first sentence above.

Reply

Violet November 18, 2006 at 10:53 pm

“Notre Dame” and “dress”? Are you an ND fan??!! I ask, because I am!(Love your blog!)Dorothy

Reply

Robinson November 18, 2006 at 10:55 pm

I have seen very few women who aren’t flattered by well fitted pants in some form or another. Many, many women look absolutely fabulous in a well fitted pair of pants. My knee jerk reaction to being told I can’t or shouldn’t wear pants is to go put on a pair of pants.I guess I am not fully converted.

Reply

Nanette November 18, 2006 at 11:28 pm

It’s not that dresses are so uncomfortable per se, it’s the shoes (heels are a must for anything but perfectly proportioned legs) and stockings (pale skin, scars, varicose veins, etc. aren’t the least bit attractive) that cause the discomfort. Also, depending on the width and the length of the skirt, the wearer has to assume some rather restricted movements and postures to keep the skirt from hiking up or flying up in a breeze exposing the wearer’s figure faults way more than even the worst fitting pants ever could.

Reply

MinaW November 18, 2006 at 11:55 pm

There’s a story from the Victorian era. It was in a letter. A mixed group of ladies & gentlemen were out walking. Getting over a stile, (steps going over a fence) one lady caught the edge of her crinoline, tripped, and went flying, with her skirt up over her head. The woman telling the story wrote that she didn’t know whether to be glad or shocked that the unfortunate lady was wearing underwear red tartan bloomers.My new guess about the origin of the tunic idea in the ’70s is that we all stopped wearing the mini-dresses alone and started wearing them with pants. Because they were so awkward to wear. (No panty-hose yet, just stockings and garters.) I certainly remember doing that, deliberately. Of course, I did it because my boyfriend at the time said “Wear short skirts, I like to look at your legs”. I didn’t wear any short skirts for 8 years…

Reply

Floridaprincess November 19, 2006 at 12:46 am

I do understand how Peggy feels tho. I do have a little story about my New Zeland friend. She told me she did not own a dress & she had to go to a special event & was dreading it. She told me I do not look good in dresses you will never see me in a dress. Even if she gets married she will not get married in a dress. I do not believe you!!! I said why do you think you look awful in a dress??? Well they do not fit right on me no matter what because of my hip. I said your hip!!! She said yes. One of my hips is higher then the other one. I said really??? Then she showed me & it was ,there was a real difference. You can see this in a dress she said. She feels pants and jackets hide it. She will not wear a skirt either it will look funny on her. I do understand now. I never ever after that told her oh, you should wear a dress or least give it a try. This hip difference really bothered her & she was 24 yrs old.I wear dresses often. I wear cute flats or kitten heels no matter what. I have 40 different pairs. I gotta tell ya I will never wear heels agin. I had to wear 5 inch heels for 13 yrs at my job. I have went into a different job market now. I told my husband Iam never wearing heels again he said all right then.Red tartan bloomers I love it!!! I want a pair!!!

Reply

Anonymous November 19, 2006 at 1:18 am

My conversion to dresses happened when I started to sew for myself. I’m very short-waisted, with a marked swayback and wide hips, so I’ve never had a store-bought dress that fit me properly (since I was a child). I think this may be a reason why dresses aren’t more popular – it’s hard to get a good fit, and most people don’t sew for themselves. I disagree with the statement that “most women are not flattered by pants”. Like with dresses (or shirts, or jackets, or skirts) I think any woman can find a model of trousers that look good on her. /Monika

Reply

Well Rounded Dresser November 19, 2006 at 1:57 am

I was not allowed to wear pants growing up, and for most of my career, which made me covet love and want to wear pants whenever possible.Now, for some reason, I want dresses. My first success is a long, straight, sleeveless dress, worn with an unstructured jacket or blouse over. I’m amazed at how comfortable this is, and how the same dress can work for either a power meeting or a picnic, depending on what I wear with it.Now I’m looking for more dresses, which is where all the dress-for-your-shape advice is helping!

Reply

Anonymous November 19, 2006 at 3:08 am

I understand that many women THINK they are flattered by their pants, particularly if the pants are well cut and proportioned to their body.However, unless you have someone film you walking from behind wearing those same pants, you will never, ever know for sure, because you can’t see yourself walking from behind!I own a women’s jewellery and accessories shop, and I see women wearing pants all day long, often more than 100 per day. I can say safely that ten percent look fine from the rear – the rest? It ranges from simply unflattering to downright embarrassing. Some of the older women whose buttocks have shrunken or fallen due to age would die if they knew how it looked.Jackets and tunics hide a lot of the figure problems shown by pants, true. Unfortunately, so many women have fallen into the “jeans and a t-shirt” uniform of late, and far too many are not flattered by this outfit.For the poster whose friend had a high hip – was it so severe that a dress with a waistline higher than the natural waist wouldn’t simply skim over it? I would think that a hip that high would be accentuated by pants, because of the drag lines it would create front and rear. I could see where a dress with a natural waistline or dropped waist would be a problem, but an Empire waist or a loose sheath? Can’t see how that would draw attention to a high hip.

Reply

La BellaDonna November 19, 2006 at 5:14 am

No, no, Nanette; high heels are absolutely not required with a dress! Sometimes I wear flats; better than 98% of the time, I wear boots. And yes, I have boots that work with cocktail attire. The wrong trousers/jeans can be just as restrictive as the wrong dress for certain movements, and if you think that only dresses can expose you in a way that’s appalling, you haven’t seen some of the people in trousers that I have. Only last night I got to admire a young woman’s choice of thong (bright pink), which was exposed well past where the “triangle” portion peters out into the “string” portion. Not to mention seeing what happens when someone wears an unlined pair of white trousers. Or when someone whose jeans are too tight for underwear also turn out to be too tight for their wearer, and rupture. It’s a matter of choosing garments judiciously for their activities.I too have a high hip, though possibly not as high as the one poster’s friend, and I would also think that it would generally be more obvious, not less, in pants – and I agree about the Empire waist. I think, though, I’d be more inclined to see something with gathers at the waistline than a sheath. And it’s so much easier to put in a substructure to the dress to disguise the high hip than it would be to do the same thing in pants.

Reply

Ruth Singer November 19, 2006 at 8:36 am

on a slightly different note – i love folk dress so thanks for this great link!

Reply

n.b. November 19, 2006 at 10:35 am

Great story! I followed the link within the link hoping that Peggy has a blog, but alas she does not seem to. An interesting sizing note, I also am very tall, and zaftig too and yet on occasion the best size for me is a petite. Not always, it depends on the cut. What’s that about?

Reply

Anonymous November 19, 2006 at 10:48 am

Um… you “can’t see yourself walking from behind”? I don’t think it’s **that** difficult to walk away from a mirror while looking over your shoulder. A three-way mirror in a store would make it even easier- or you could just ask someone whose opinion you trusted. Me, I don’t wear dresses/skirts much because I’d have to shave my legs- that is, I realize it’s not actually illegal to go without, but it makes me twitchy. I would wear tights or leggings under them, but it’s impossible to find a pair of either in cool colors where I live- I needed dark blue tights for my Halloween costume this past October, and **man**, you’d think that wouldn’t be hard to find, but apparently tights only come in skin-tone around here.

Reply

Diatryma November 19, 2006 at 11:38 am

I admit I’m a bit defensive because I’ve just been told that what I wear makes me ugly. But I’m building up courage for dresses. The thing with jeans and a T-shirt is that it’s invisible– no one looks at my clothes except subconsciously. If I wear a skirt, everyone asks me why I’m so dressed up, I have to be careful what I touch and lean against, and then I have to do laundry especially for the skirt. It’s a matter of what’s appropriate. You wear a dress when other people are wearing dresses. You wear a suit when other people are wearing suits. When other people are wearing jeans and T-shirts, invisibility means jeans and T-shirts.I know that’s counter to what a lot of people here want– you want to be looked at, and dress for yourselves as much as anyone else. I don’t. I hate the idea of people looking at me for any reason– being remarked upon is *hell*.And now I find out that everyone I know secretly thinks I’m ugly and that the clothes I am comfortable wearing, physically and psychologically, make me look even worse.I’d wear dresses if I had any way to do so and knew that I wouldn’t look as bad as I know I would.

Reply

Nanette November 19, 2006 at 12:33 pm

Well, labelle I said heels with dresses unless the legs were very well proportioned. I suppose covering part of the leg with a boot, therefore changing its proportion would work, too, although, to my eye, boots with the waisted, full-skirt just below knee length dresses shown in the recent entries of this blog would look wrong for that style. (I suppose I had that style in mind when I wrote my previous post.) I have worn flat or low-heeled boots with calf length and longer A-line or draped skirts to good effect, but of course, that combination gracefully suggests the shape of the legs rather than exposing every contour. Yes, I too, have seen more thong tops and strings than I’ve ever wanted. In fact, briefly this summer, it was the fashion locally for teen girls to pull their thongs up as high as they could and to wear their hipster pants as low as possible. Revolting! However, just this Friday in a staff meeting, I was so situated that I was looking directly up a co-worker’s skirt that had ridden up as she had sat down–and it remained like that the entire meeting. Gah! All of which goes to show, that one can look ridiculous to down right hideous in either a skirt or pants, depending on how they are worn.

Reply

India November 19, 2006 at 2:22 pm

I have a sort of conversion story, though it’s not altogether a happy one.When I was about to start elementary school, my older brother advised me, “Don’t wear skirts or dresses, because the boys will pull them up.” I took him absolutely at his word and never wore anything but jeans to school, until the day before graduation, when for practice I wore a jumper. (I did wear dresses for special occasions outside of school, and for a year or two I was actually–ludicrously!–a runway model for a friend of my mom’s who was a children’s clothing designer. She did folk-inspired dresses, a few of which I got to keep.)The night before graduation, I made dolls for all my friends out of flour-based clay, baked them, and painted them. And the following morning, I got dressed in a Marimekko-style striped dress my mother and I had sewn together, half of a mother-and-daughter outfit. I walked to school as usual, with my bag full of dolls. Halfway there, a man started walking alongside me. He took hold of my arm and asked me to give him my wristwatch; I did. Then he started steering me across the avenue, toward a little park behind our library. I’d been there a million times with my class or my family, but I’d also heard my mom saying that there were drug addicts in the park, and I didn’t want to go there. Then the man asked what was in my bag, and I was afraid he was going to take the dolls I had labored over for hours, so I started crying, wrested my arm from him, and continued walking toward school as fast as I could. He didn’t follow.I forgot about it for the rest of the day, in the excitement of graduation, and it wasn’t until the reception afterward that I told my mom, “A guy took my watch.” She freaked out completely, of course, and called the cops, and I had to tell them I had no idea what the man had looked like. I was not a very alert kid, which is how it happened in the first place.Anyway, clearly this happened because I was wearing a dress. This was Greenwich Village in 1979 or 1980. I was a latchkey kid and had walked to school by myself every day for two years, since my brother had moved on to middle school. And I’d never had any trouble alone on the streets of New York until the second time I wore a dress. So I took the obvious lesson and didn’t wear a dress again until well into junior high.At that point, we were mucking around in the basement one day and Mom opened up a trunk of old clothes from when she’d been in college. Beautiful dresses from the 1950s and ’60s, with full skirts and crinolines and little matching bolero jackets. Also, two Pucci dresses, one in cotton and one in silk. They fitted me exactly at that age, and I couldn’t not wear them, so from that moment on I became a convert. I started shopping in thrift stores and wearing dresses almost every day. I wore my mom’s Suzy Perette prom dress to my junior high school prom and played ping-pong while wearing her own black gloves. I wore that dress until I outgrew it, and it’s still in my closet, waiting for me to get a tapeworm and be able to fit into it again. Now I wear a dress almost every day, to the point where last week, when I was feeling lazy one morning and wore corduroys, a woman at my office saw me and remarked in astonishment, “Whoa! Pants!”(And nobody’s every tried to mug me again.)I disagree with the assertion that most women look bad in pants; I’d say most of the women I see wearing them look pretty good–yes, even from behind. And I have a few pairs that I always get compliments on. But they don’t bring me joy the way a really pretty dress does. I’m glad I finally converted.

Reply

Anonymous November 19, 2006 at 7:13 pm

I am utterly heartbroken by your comment, Diatryma!Nobody should be treated like that. Whomever is telling you this certainly doesn’t deserve to know you. I urge you to find new friends, a new job or new family–whatever it takes to get these abusive people out of your life.

Reply

Argent November 19, 2006 at 9:07 pm

I’m with Diatryma here. For my everyday life, I don’t want to attract attention. Attracting attention makes me uncomfortable and self-conscious, not to mention being ‘picked out’ for something is usually followed by something you don’t want to do/like – or that’s how you feel. Generally, for everyday life, it’s better to be ‘normal’ or ‘invisible’ – think how much *abuse* people get from dressing differently. Goths or vintage-lovers get anything from stares, disapproval, or horrible service to downright abuse from people on the street to shopkeepers. It really depends where you are and your personality. Not to mention how much energy one has that day. I don’t *care* if I’m fashionable, or even if my clothes are flattering. If they’re average, I’m happy. These days, with more sewing knowledge, I’m branching into the Steampunk/Victoriana-inspired look (emphasis on unusual design of everyday stuff, like jackets), but I know very well that I will get attention, because people who stand out *do*. (I figure the trick is to design the outfit so that while it looks unusual, tailoring, cut and fabric all add to give the impression that it cost a lot of money. Sad, but true – it works. People interact with you more nicely/respectfully, especially if you’re a ‘freak’).

Reply

Kelly November 20, 2006 at 2:41 am

Diatryma… that is truely a very heartbreaking story and Anon 8:13pm said it perfectly. Very wise words. I want to tell you something that I realized after too long a time and hurt feelings. That people who say such rude things, are only lashing out, because they themselves are insecure and too afraid to do or wear what they please because it might be differnt then what is the norm. This is a hard thing to realize when caustic people are saying hurtful things but it does seem to ease the sting. Growing up in Missoula Montana if you did not wear T-shirts or a western shirt & Levis shrink to fit or Wranglers.. you were an outcast. I look atrocious in Levis but I was not brave enough to be an outcast then. Now I am older and hopefully much wiser. Life is too short to worry about what other people think. I don’t what to someday be on my death bed with regrets of what I should have done, said, ate, or wore.. ect. I eat cake when I feel like it.. my daughter and I will go have ice cream for a special treat.. I make time to call my friends when I miss them.. And I wear what makes ME happy. I am true to myself… a few years ago.. I went back to MT for a visit. I brought only skirts and tops.. My mom kept asking me if I forgot my pants and if I wanted to borrow some of hers but I stood my ground all week.. walked around Southgate mall in something that had the same lines of about a 1911 hobble skirt. Got a few stares.. had a wonderful time and by the end of the week when my mom was taking me to the airport she said I looked very nice this week and my look suited me. :)

Reply

Kelly November 20, 2006 at 4:50 am

Hello again Diatryma… I thought about what you have said all night and what I said in my previous post about taking the higher ground will not take the pain away from hurtful words. YOU sound like a beautiful caring person that I am sure a lot of people would be proud to call you friend. Please loose those hurtful rude friends… or if you can not because they are family.. distance yourself from them. The farther the better. Find yourself some new friends. What do you like to do for fun? What are your hobbies? You could always take a class if there is a college or university near you. Find something that you are pasionate about. Diatryma I am painfully shy when talking to people in person but I found if I am in a group of people with the same interests/passions as myself it is not as scary. Do you like books?.. My friend Tami was in a book club.. where everyone in the group read the same book and met to discuss it. That might be fun. Some days I do not want to stand out either. Sometimes it is nice to be just a face in the croud. On these days, I wont dress as showy. I am still in a skirt..but not that loud red one that you can see from three blocks away. :) You stated that “I have to be careful what I touch and lean against, and then I have to do laundry especially for the skirt.” what sort of skirt is it? If you like skirts and dresses buy ones that can go in the wash with all the other things that you own. The ones that need special care. Save those for parties, weddings or any special event. I do everything in a skirt… cook, clean, laundry, go for walks… scrubbed the windows of my house this summer.. gardened. I have hogged this blog Erin. I am sorry. Diatryma I have walked in your shoes. I know how you feel…I wish you well.

Reply

La BellaDonna November 20, 2006 at 9:31 am

N.B., it’s perfectly possible for a person to be a “petite” through only one section of her body. Despite my extra-long arms, not to mention my extra-long front, I often find that petite jackets fit me better than standard jackets. And it’s not as if I’m particularly leggy, either! In fact, many ladies are short, rather than petite – they are average sized through the length of the pelvis, and need to buy regular-length trousers and hem them to get the correct fit.Mina, I remember that story! Weren’t they “like those things Charlie goes shooting in” ? Nanette, in fact, I generally wear my skirts longer – more like the 1947 length, than the later knee-length – and I also wear tights that match the boots, in the event that I am wearing something around knee-length. I’ve often seen the same thing you witnessed at the office; a lot of ladies who wear neither tights nor pantyhose forget that their skirts, which may be a decent length while they stand, ride up while they sit. And over the summer, the number of ladies in late middle age, with no stockings, and long straight summer dressers that were open to just above the knee – I didn’t have the heart to tell them, on the bus, just how high that slit rode up! Their knees were blissfully covered, and way more of their thighs were revealed than they would have liked, had they known. But my rule of thumb is, if it’s something that can be fixed, I’ll let someone know; if they can’t do anything about it, I won’t make them uncomfortable. And you young ones (and not so young), who wear large backpacks, or very large shoulder bags – do be aware that those packs will sometimes hike your skirts up in the back! I HAVE let a couple of girls know that even though the skirt was only a couple of inches above the knee in the front, it was much higher in the back, and hiking higher still! Those, at least, were fixable!Diatryma, I’m sorry you’ve had such horrible experiences. I can’t say that I haven’t had the same, at least when I was growing up in small-town New Jersey. The thing is, no matter how hard I tried, I never did look like everybody else, and I soon stopped trying. I’m not going to pretend that there aren’t communities where it’s just easier to blend, or that many, many people feel as you and Argent do. For me, it’s not so much that I dress for other people’s attention; it’s just that I’m generally indiffierent to it. And if it draws negative comments (and the same outfit can, in the same day, draw both positive and negative comments from strangers), then the people who make those comments run the risk of hearing what I have to say to them. As far as people saying, “Why are you so dressed up?” – that hasn’t happened in a long time. But my response was usually a puzzled, “What do you mean?” and if they were forward enough, after that, to say, “Why are you wearing a skirt?” I’d say, “Why aren’t you wearing one?” – not rudely, just – puzzled. Like Kelly, I’m not certain why you have to be quite so careful of your skirts – there is no reason, if you like skirts and like to wear them, that you couldn’t wear corduroy, or flannel, or denim (blue denim, or any of the wonderful colours denim comes in), or other sturdy, washable fabrics, when other people are dressed casually. To wear a dress doesn’t automatically mean “dressed up” – it just means “dressed” – as in, “having one’s clothes on.” I certainly wouldn’t wear anything fragile when I’m cleaning or cooking or going to the laundromat, but I have dresses that I’ve made that are sturdy, comfortable, practical and becoming, and I wear them for every-day-at-home, doing laundry, doing the catbox, etc. For me, life’s too short to live it in fear, but I’m not going to judge anybody who makes a different choice, especially since I do know what it can be like. I would much rather encourage you to try, if you think it’s something you would like to do. Even if it’s just something you do in the privacy of your own home. You could start small, with a denim or corduroy skirt or jumper, with a T-shirt or sweater – something not so different from what “everyone” is wearing, and see how you like it. But even if you’re sure that a dress or two would be difficult to fit into your life, you can always come here for all the dresses you’d like.India, Good God. I’m glad you can enjoy your dresses more safely now.

Reply

Welmoed November 20, 2006 at 1:17 pm

I love to wear skirts and dresses, but don’t because… well, I don’t know. Probably because I don’t have the right shoes and I hate shopping for shoes.I’ve also been told I “can’t” wear the things I like. One time someone left an anonymous posting on my guest book telling me, in precise words, that I was too fat to be wearing the kinds of clothes I made for myself, and I should take a look at what Martha Pullen wears (which I consider elegant muumuus). Sure, I’ve seen pictures of myself after the fact and cringed, but I also remember that at the time I was wearing whatever it was, I felt radiant and glorious and powerful and wonderful. So what if I might have looked like a stuffed sausage? I was having a great time.A long time ago I read (don’t remember where) that “What person A says about person B says more about person A than it does person B”. Also, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Reply

La BellaDonna November 20, 2006 at 1:57 pm

Welmoed, how spiteful and utterly cowardly of the anonymous poster. Makes you wonder how terrific that person usually looks, doesn’t it?My general philosophy is, “It doesn’t matter what other people think, because, generally speaking, they don’t.”Oh, and too right about what Martha Pullen wears! If they make her happy, that’s a wonderful thing, but why should you be expected to wear what makes someone else happy?

Reply

Peggy November 25, 2006 at 7:35 am

Hi all,I thought I’d sent this previously, but apparently it has not appeared. If a duplicate post, my apologies. Thank you Becky for sending the link to my Notre Dame essay to the dressaday site, and thanks to the web owner for publishing the link. I enjoyed all your stories and am always happy when something I write inspires thought, comment & a sharing of experience.As an aside, I did wear that dress again to my sister’s wedding a year later, a small event to which no one was going to wear a dress. But when my sister’s fiance requested she wear one (he’d never seen her in a dress), my mother, then me, then my two daughters & my son’s girlfriend all decided to wear a dress.I have a website at http://www.peggyduffy.com but no blog yet.

Reply

Anonymous November 30, 2006 at 10:47 am

I have to say, in response to India’s story about being attacked because she was wearing a dress, wearing pants does not by itself, make a child safe. My sister was walking to her baseball game *in pants* and was also accosted by a full grown man. I don’t think it had anything to do with what she was wearing, I think it was an unfortunate case of the wrong place at the wrong time. Women and girls who wear dresses are not “asking for it.”

Reply

Anonymous December 15, 2006 at 5:46 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 15, 2006 at 7:05 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 16, 2006 at 2:11 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 16, 2006 at 2:34 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 16, 2006 at 3:43 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 9:37 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 9:52 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 4:12 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 7:33 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 9:45 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 10:07 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 17, 2006 at 11:20 pm

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2006 at 2:26 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2006 at 6:06 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2006 at 8:36 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2006 at 8:42 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2006 at 9:07 am

schalom!

Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2006 at 10:28 am

schalom!

Reply

Hiyaaah! March 28, 2009 at 3:58 pm

For anyone who wants to read Peggy Duffy’s dress conversion story: it is no longer at the URL linked above, but it does seem to be available through Notre Dame Magazine, August 2006.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: