This Week’s Pattern Story

by Erin on June 17, 2009


Simplicity 8483

Oh god. When is she going to stop talking? Do you think she'd stop if I fell down dead? What if I bit her? Just bit her, right on her hand. Do you think she'd stop then? Or would she just say, "Oh, that reminds me of the time Bob bit me, did I ever tell you that story?"

I wonder if she'd notice if I said something absurd. Like, if I said "Grommet the mushrooms, Pancake," in the same tone you'd say "Oh, absolutely, Delia."

I bet I could walk over and pull the fire alarm, and she'd still be talking. Blab, blab, blab, while slung over the fireman's shoulder.

I can't stand it. I'm going to pull that dumb flower off her belt, throw it at her and run. On the count of three. One. Two …

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