Bonus Pattern Story and Sale

by Erin on June 19, 2009

McCalls 865

The story of the Fourth Street Kitchen Gang is one of the most lurid in our city's history. With their razor-sharp spoons and bloody aprons, this gang of female — and disturbingly feminine — delinquents terrorized entire neighborhoods throughout the 1940s. Whether they were chasing down defenseless citizens and forcing them to eat pickled okra, or pelting passersby with biscuits solid as hardtack, no one felt safe. Their cackling laughter and cries of "feed 'em, Sally!" were the signal for those who knew what was good for them to retreat inside their own houses, after leaving tributes of flour, eggs, milk, sugar, and chocolate chips on their doorsteps. Those who did not provide tribute might find their houses or automobiles "breaded," "riced," dusted with "powdered sugar," or worse. Junior members of the gang infiltrated elementary schools to steal potatoes to arm their spud guns, while older members extorted "protection money" from local gardeners, grocers, and bakeries.

It was only after the end of the war and rationing that the power of the Fourth Street Kitchen gang was broken. With plenty of ammo to go around, the Maple Avenue Greengrocers crew started a devastating gang war for control of the city which finally drew police attention (before, the attitude of the authorities was that the gang activities were merely "girlish high spirits"), and which resulted in both organizations disbanding to attend home ec courses at the local vocational college in the hopes of "going straight," with some success. It is rumored that Penny "Paring Knife" Morton, the Fourth Street Gang's leader, after graduating with honors, went on to invent cookie dough in a tube.

(Pattern from Wendy at Pattern Stash, who is having a Summer's Here! sale this weekend Friday (today), Saturday, and Sunday. For 15% off, just put "dressaday" in the note to seller, and the discount will be refunded through PayPal.)

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

xstpenguin June 19, 2009 at 12:04 pm

heehee!or… Mrs Kitchen (of the Crossed Spoon Kitchens, an ancient and proud family) ordered a kitchen bot and were assured it would come ready for use, straight out of the box. But something is wrong, it will only curtsey and say (in taiwanese) your request has not been recognised. Miss Kitchen thinks they should go for a refund and get the butler model instead, but Mother Kitchen is certain that the answer lies somewhere in the operating manual.


Cookie June 19, 2009 at 12:31 pm

The sassy-postured girl on the left is surely lost to the evil ways of the streets forever. Shell become a mean Home Ec teacher after being released from Reform School. Then when shes brought before the School Board on charges of dislocating some student shoulders, shell go on to establish an Entenmanns type baking dynasty. I dont think she ever married.


Julia June 19, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Oh oh oh, this is one of my favorites yet! They do have quite scary faces.


Melissa June 19, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Feed em, Sally! is my new favorite exclamation.


MarieGrace June 19, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Oh, the good ole days. My spud gun is in the garage covered in a layer of dust and memories.


Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 1:13 pm

When you said Potato Gun, I thought of the Archie McPhee Potato Gun, a bit more low-tech: a lot of dress-related or sewing-related products at Archie McPhees, but they do carry things like temporary Librarian Tattoos, Librarian Action Figures, and, my current fave, Squirrel Underpants. Enjoy,CMC


MrsPost June 19, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Penny Paring Knife MortonI snorted iced tea on my monitor when I read that.


Packrat June 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm

Pure evil…


the_lazymilliner June 19, 2009 at 1:42 pm

…and Penny went on to become the extraordinarily wealthy millionaire great-grandmother she is today. :)


Latter-Day Flapper June 19, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Hey, I like pickled okra!You just know they have that crossed fork and spoon tattooed on their biceps, too.


Cel Petro June 19, 2009 at 4:15 pm

I love these stories–what DO you drink before you sit down to write?


Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Great fun! I have to admit, though, I must have read too many Bobbsey Twins mysteries at an early age. I would have deduced these girls to be studiously contemplating the clues in their latest investigation rather than plotting their next strike against the local citizenry. The girls with the blue and pink hair bows just remind me too much of Nan and Flossie, respectively. That said, I can see how the expressions on their faces (especially Little Miss Pink Dress) might be interpreted as threatening.Thanks for the entertaining stories!


Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 8:10 pm

It was because those bows pulled their hair so incredibly tight – see how its making a bald spot on the girl on the right? And those mega ruffles, over-starched and always in the way…frankly, Im about to snap just thinking of it…Dawn


*Sandra* June 19, 2009 at 10:58 pm

Crikey! I followed the spud guns link and those things look lethal. The medieval-siege-breaking-catapults of spud guns.My spud gun had a small, cylindrical barrel that you stuck into the spud and yanked out a little spud pellet. And in those days, medieval was spelled with an ae dipthong.


meredithp June 20, 2009 at 7:07 am

Erin and commentors–you make me LOL. Hmmm…spud guns and temporary tatoos…I must go investigate.


lucitebox June 20, 2009 at 8:59 am

Ha ha!!Feed em Sally! Im going to use every possible opportunity I might have to say this and what that probably means is that Ill use it any old time just because I can.


Anonymous June 20, 2009 at 12:30 pm

So is the recent cookie dough salmonella scare signs of the old ways returning?JenL


Cookie June 20, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Feed em, Sally! is of course best crowed with feet wide apart, both hands on hips, and head thrown back.Practice before mirror using Outside Voice.


Anonymous June 21, 2009 at 1:28 pm

When I first saw this picture I thought the big one was trying to clone herself, had more or less succeeded with the small one on the right, and was reading the recipe book to figure out what went wrong with the mis-matched clone on the left.


Jules June 22, 2009 at 9:50 pm

Lol feed em Sally Like it, love to see more from you.=DA Writers DenThe Brown Mestizo


Solo June 24, 2009 at 12:57 am

Cant wait to see more post here.=DTravel and LivingJob Hunter

Reply Becca June 24, 2009 at 7:50 pm

Haha I love the stories you come up with! Such a creative blog!


Cookie June 25, 2009 at 12:36 pm

SEWISTS ALERT…..wheres Erin? We have been stuck with this (excellent) story forever!! WE NEED ANOTHER FIX!! Someone check…a pattern or fabric stash could have toppled on her.


--ginger. June 25, 2009 at 9:34 pm

I would like to say that I am glad that you and your site are both alive. I cant get enough of these.


gucci June 28, 2009 at 11:23 am

would like to see more and more from you… glad to see your posts.


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