LOUISVILLE, KY— The nation's first academy for doughnut-shop hostesses has held its inaugural graduation ceremony last Saturday. The class, of ten aspiring fried-dough doyennes, graduated in an hour-long ceremony which featured a ten-minute silent intermission at the halfway point, "In homage to the hole," Academy Director Gilda Grant pointed out.
"Doughnuts are important in our culture," Grant said in her commencement address. "They are eaten by bums and presidents, by children and the elderly, by the police and by criminals alike. Serving doughnuts is a sacred responsibility."
Members of the first graduating class were equally solemn. "I am looking forward to the day when everyone knows the difference between a cruller and a buttermilk cake," said Sandy Muller, of Fells Point, Wisconsin.
Employment prospects seem bright for these students; many have already received offers from doughnut shops in their hometowns. But with their new credentials, they can afford to be picky. "I got an offer from a place in High Point," said one student, who didn't want to be named. "But they spelled it D-O-N-U-T, so I turned them down."
Grant expects that enrollment in the academy will continue to increase. "In hard times and in good, people want doughnuts. And doughnuts are tastier when served by a trained professional."
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