My Space Opera Fantasies Are Elaborate And Unfulfilled

by Erin on February 12, 2010


ebay item 8305987417

This dress (from, full-disclosure-mode, new advertiser Marian's Vintage Vanities) is really tweaking my "MUST BUY NOW" knob, but it is just too large for me, and everyone knows Tyrannical Empresses of Space Operas wear their dresses a bit on the tight side, if anything.

But if YOU will be leading the armies of the Zorg (and wear in the neighborhood of a modern size 18) this is the dress for you! It's Lurex! Fabric of the Future (and some of the more entertaining parts of the past)! And it is only TWENTY-FIVE OF OUR AMERICAN DOLLARS. No joke.

This, some Bowie-style face paint & false eyelashes, and a blinking tiara from the dollar store and you would be good to go for dozens of Halloweens, and you wouldn't freeze your ass off, because you could totally wear long underwear under this. And if anyone asked what you were supposed to be, you would just fix the questioner with a piercing stare, snap your fingers, and say "Minion! Kill this insolent creature!" and then turn and walk away.

The beauty of the walking away part is that it means you don't even *need* minions, but if you do have minions — well, what are you waiting for?

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

beangirl February 12, 2010 at 6:08 am

well, I… just… its just so…Im in love. Now where did I put those minions…?

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Packrat February 12, 2010 at 6:54 am

It is too much like my wedding dress (white, tho). Very 1970s.

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Theresa February 12, 2010 at 11:20 am

HEy, That woudl fit me! I might have to buy it!

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Alison February 12, 2010 at 12:23 pm

When I was 16 or so I had the perfect footwear for this dress: gold lurex pointy-toed pixie boots. They were 3 sizes too big for me from a thrift shop but I sewed a seam up the back and wore them anyway (with a black leather mini-skirt…it was 1978). If I still had them I would surely buy this dress and put a seam up the back it it too :-)Love your blog!

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Sara February 12, 2010 at 12:29 pm

One word for your writing, and that dress: Awesome.

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the sewist February 12, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Minions not included?

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3KillerBs February 12, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Other than the fabric that is a wonderful dress. The style would be wonderful on a busty, curvy, full-fleshed woman — fitted enough and not too strained with the attention focused on the good parts.

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3KillerBs February 12, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Other than the fabric that is a wonderful dress. The style would be wonderful on a busty, curvy, full-fleshed woman — fitted enough and not too strained with the attention focused on the good parts.

Reply

JustGail February 15, 2010 at 7:13 am

Dang – if it wasnt for a short woman, Id buy it – minions or not.

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Theresa February 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

OH, Im a short woman – this is somekind of sign…

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