My Space Opera Fantasies Are Elaborate And Unfulfilled

by Erin on February 12, 2010

ebay item 8305987417

This dress (from, full-disclosure-mode, new advertiser Marian's Vintage Vanities) is really tweaking my "MUST BUY NOW" knob, but it is just too large for me, and everyone knows Tyrannical Empresses of Space Operas wear their dresses a bit on the tight side, if anything.

But if YOU will be leading the armies of the Zorg (and wear in the neighborhood of a modern size 18) this is the dress for you! It's Lurex! Fabric of the Future (and some of the more entertaining parts of the past)! And it is only TWENTY-FIVE OF OUR AMERICAN DOLLARS. No joke.

This, some Bowie-style face paint & false eyelashes, and a blinking tiara from the dollar store and you would be good to go for dozens of Halloweens, and you wouldn't freeze your ass off, because you could totally wear long underwear under this. And if anyone asked what you were supposed to be, you would just fix the questioner with a piercing stare, snap your fingers, and say "Minion! Kill this insolent creature!" and then turn and walk away.

The beauty of the walking away part is that it means you don't even *need* minions, but if you do have minions — well, what are you waiting for?

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