I had a figure problem with the fashions of the past
But no more figure problem–now my shape's in style at last
In the sack
In the sack
No one knows that I'm poorly designed
I'm a runt in the front
And there's too much behind what's behind
But who knows
And who sees
Underneath my Parisian chemise
Who can tell what I lack
I'm in perfect design
Every fella of mine
Says I'm simply divine
In the sack
I'm a mess
In a dress
With a peck-a-boo split up the side
And I frown on a gown
Where there simply is no place to hide
So blow horns
Wave the flag
I'm the belle of the ball in the bag
I'm the pick of the pack
Since I took up the trend
Every gentleman friend
Says I'm simply the end
(In the sack)
For the new look
I was much too dumpy
I could never get a sheath around myself
For the flat look
I was much too lumpy
But I found myself
When I found myself
In the sack
In the sack
I am burning my old basic black
Each designer I see
From New York to Paree
Wants to throw little me
In the sack.
Lyrics by Jerry Herman (click on image to go to a book of his lyrics).
A Dress A Day 
I love Jerry Herman. Next time one of my children tells me that “your bum’s jiggly,” I’ll tell them very seriously that I’m just “poorly designed”: the whole thing is simply beyond my control!I was just trying to figure out what they’d call a dress that fit my shape: The Atomic Bum? Hip-Hip Hooray?
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