Look, I know I'm itchy, but is that my fault? Can't you deal with it, suck it up, wear a slip? You can do something, I'm sure. Wash me again? That might work. I don't mean to be itchy – I'm not trying to drive you nuts. You cut out my tag – that should have helped, right? And maybe if you lost a few pounds, my seams wouldn't be stretched so tight. I'm just saying, okay? Don't get huffy with me. It's not my fault you're so sensitive, princess. Wait! Wait! Where are you going? What do you mean, "cotton"?

{ETA: thanks to Kayleen for the link!}

Oh, and a few linkety things before I forget:

Mina has posted instructions on how to make what looks like a really pretty and comfortable skirt.

Bernina announced their Diamond Odyssey winners! If you like wearable art … you like wearable art, so you should check it out. The winners all got the kind of sewing machines that do everything but walk your dog … and I think one of the creations was optioned as the plot for a fantasy movie. (Not sure about that last part.)

Oh, and in the "free stuff for bloggers" category, NARS sent me some makeup. (I know, I know, I had to have someone pinch me.) I'm not a huge makeup fiend, but NARS is soooo nice. I got the new Multiple (in Orgasm) and a lipgloss/stain combo in Sayonara/Turkish Delight. If I may channel my inner Jean Godfrey-June for a moment: wow. I had avoided the whole NARS Orgasm bandwagon when it was just a powder blush, since (due to many, many extremely messy experiences with shattered powder compacts) I only wear cream blush. But this stuff, well, it does what they say it does. With a teeny-tiny amount of glitter — not so much that you really notice it, it's like a homeopathic dose of glitter — almost subliminal. It even made me look healthy in the doldrums of the cold I had last week, and that was saying something. (I had to wash it off or else my husband would have thought I was malingering.) The lipstuff is also nice — it goes on a bit thick (although that may be my inexpert application), but it wipes down well to a pretty color. I've kind of given up on real lipstick, and instead rely on the blind application of tinted lipbalm, but this may get trotted out for special occasions. They also sent me something called Mono Body Glow, which is a "lightweight, multi-purpose beauty oil for daily moisture." It smells really nice, but not in a nice-for-me way, so I think perhaps someone I know who collects perfume (Hi A!) is going to get this. Also, it solidifies under 72 degrees, which would make it a solid block of congealment in my ill-insulated Chicago house until oh, April. But thanks, NARS! Your blush has changed my life, or at least my attitude towards products with "Orgasm" in their names!