Today's story comes to us courtesy of Out of the Ashes and this pattern:
Two editors from Mademoiselle have trapped a hapless, unknowing reader in a block of clear lucite, where they will subject her to countless literary and sartorial experiments (until the demise of the magazine in 2001).
You can tell the woman in beige is a senior editor because her eyes are completely dead. (Also because, look, beige!) The woman in red is a market editor. Also, the editor in beige is on the verge of tearing a button off her jacket and hurling it at the poor trapped reader. Just because she can.
A Dress A Day 
Just as in Story Part One, I suspect that one of the major characters in Part Two is a MAN! That little white hat, those gloves, the 3/4 sleeves — all disguising her/his masculinity.
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They are actually two women from a long lost Amazonian tribe called the Fashamazonistas. They are plotting (please see the knowing elbow which is about to strike)on the best way to rip said Lucite Lady our of her Time Warp Box in order to steal her much better dress and then devour her as an apertiff. They have the distinct advantage of one leg which is much longer than normal(characteristic of their kind) which they will use to break the Time Warp Box and to extract Lucite Lady. They will then impail her on the umbrella, cart her off to their native land, season her with fresh herbs, and begin the roast…all to obtain The Dress.
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By apertiff, I of course meant apertif and while I am at it, I really, really meant appetizer:)
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Beige EditorBot’s eyes are slightly out of focus, so she is retuning with her central dial.Or possibly that is the control for her extra length leg.
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These former Mademoiselle models are gloating; Red over the fact that her face is visible while her arch enemy, Blondie, only gets her backside view on a propped poster. Beige is expertly pointing out that proper button placment is the key to eliminating gaposis, but wonders why she has been given an umbrella that looks to be as useful as an iron to a bachelor.
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It’s actually a time-travel portal. The lady in beige is an assassin-bot from the future. She is setting her eye lasers to “stun”, and will walk through the portal and onto the catwalk in a few moments in a ploy to stun and capture all of the leading fashion designers and haul them back through the portal to her vintage-fashion-obsessed mistress.
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What are you guys drinking? These posts (and comments)are so much fun, I’m speechless.
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For Crying out loud – BEIGE has an ADAM’s APPLE!Thank God for you , Erin and all you commentors…I am havinga sh**ty day and this really cheered me up!
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I agree that the lady in beige is an assassin-bot from the future. A very specialized type, though. She is actually the “Cleaner”, as is evidenced by the sinister black bag.
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That is hysterical! I’ve never seen a pattern envelope where the main view interacts with a little inset of the back view, and especially not by draping her arm over it!
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Red Dress: Are you ready Doctor?Beige Dress: Yes, I see we all have our gloves on, lets get started.Red Dress: Imagine being born with your long leg in the back like that. Can we really fix it?Beige Dress: In my experience it’s a very quick fix. Just move the long leg to the front, like the rest of us, and she’ll be fine. Red Dress: It must be hard to have to walk through life backward just because your leg is in the wrong place.Beige Dress: That’s why we’re here. To help this poor soul go through life front-wise.Red Dress: It’s a rea shame for someone so skinny to have a handycap like that.Beige Dress: Yes, you’re right. Skinny people like us have a right to face forward in life.Red Dress: Nice hat, by the way.Beidge Dress: Oh, it’s not really a hat. It’s the lid to my double boiler. I didn’t have room in the cupboard for it, so I just put it on my head.Red Dress: It’s a good thing we’re so skinny.Beige Dress: Open my black back and pass me the umbrella.
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Bag. Open my black bag. Honestly, I need a proof reader.
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hahahaha clear block of clear lucite. hehe.-indigo
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I’m so glad you used the word ‘lucite’, as commenters on my blog claimed that the word is dead! My vocab is vindicated!
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Beige Lady to Red Lady: “Are you absolutely sure you can make my, you know, backside look just like the one pictured in the lucite cube?”Red Lady to Beige Lady: “Are you kidding? With the Hubba Hubba Heiney you’ll have all the men drooling!”Beige Lady to Red Lady: “But the cost! My stars it’ll take forever to pay it off!”Red Lady to Beige Lady: “Ah, but so very, very worth while.”Beige Lady to Red Lady: “Well, okay. When do you need the money?”
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I think this would make a great illustration for the phrase “talking behind her back!”
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http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1listing_id=21147495take a look at this corset :)not letter print, but close!
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The lady in the black dress is pulling a Jonathan Strange and walking into a magic mirror to explore the lands on the other side. Her assistant in the red dress looks smug and confident because she’s seen this stunt before. The government official in the prim tan with the Peter Pan collar, however, is shocked and incredulous.
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L in black to L in beige :”You should talk about hats?!!”L in beige : “I did not say anithing.”L in red: “It was me. Any problem?”
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anything. Sorry for my English (not mother tongue )
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Beige: I think we over-did it with the sunlamps. My right eye feels a little wonky.Red: Your eye?! Half my hair is singed off. I feel so woozy, I can barely keep my eyes open. I need to lean against this picture frame-at least you have that umbrella-whew.
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White Hat needs a Bromo-Seltzer.
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