This probably wasn't the first dress I ever wore — I was more than a year old here, at my brother's christening — but it's the first dress I remember, in that weird kind of remembering that is nine-tenths composed of other people telling you what you should remember.
My grandmother made that dress, and I couldn't tell you if she knitted it or crocheted it. (My money's on crochet, though.) It has green velvet ribbons, which you can't see in the picture, and it's upstairs right now, in a box. I have a niece coming in August; maybe a year and a bit from now she'll wear it.
This is the last dress I made. Once Dad told me he liked a red bandanna skirt I had made, so I felt as if he would have approved of the black bandanna fabric. I was glad I had the fabric already; I hated the thought of going out and buying fabric for this last dress. Nothing would have been right; how could it have been? Besides, it was the just right weight for Florida in March, and when I lost it during "Be Not Afraid," the drops just beaded up and rolled off.
I used this pattern, for the first time. I went slow, much slower than usual for a first-time-through. I'd measure something and forget the number before I even put the ruler down. I had to move the little speed slider on my sewing machine from "jackrabbit" back down to "turtle." I kept sticking myself with pins.
I even tore the fabric of the bodice, ripping out stitches at the waist seam, but for once I didn't swear and throw it onto the "fix someday" pile; I just dug out some fusible interfacing and reinforced the tear. A little zig-zag stitching and a bit of cheating up when I redid that seam, and no one could have possibly spotted it, not even Dad, who could see a smudge or a nick or a speck of dirt from a hundred yards out.
As always, I made some changes to the pattern. I changed the front and back gathers on the bodice for darts, so as not to have to wear a belt (a blousy bodice looks awful without a belt, and my Good Black Belt is AWOL, as usual). I added deep pockets to the front seams — deeper than usual, as I wanted to be able to carry a full pack of tissues, maybe even two. I didn't want to have to carry a shoulder bag and then have it keep bumping into people when I hugged them. Dad had five sisters; I'm one of fifteen cousins; and friends were coming from all over: there was going to be a lot of hugging.
I know I'll wear this again — Dad was most emphatically NOT in favor of things that you could only use once — but I hope it's a long time before I need to wear it again. I might still want to have two packs of tissues in my pockets for a while, though. Just in case.
I'm going to miss you, Dad.
Thomas Albert McKean, 1944-2008.
A Dress A Day 
Heart goes out to you, bunny.
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Oh no… I’m so sorry.Please keep telling stories about him and let people take care of you for a while.Hugs.
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Words are inadequate for such a time. Lovely tribute. You must have loved him very much.
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My heart is with you. You know you were a wonderful daughter. Be good to yourself. Your writing made me cry so even in sorrow you are true.
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Oh, Erin. What a beautifully selfless thing you’ve shared here. Bless your dad and your mom and your aunts and your cousins and especially you and your brother.
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Dear Erin,I had a blue crocheted dress with blue velvet ribbons when I was 1-ish. My grandmother added rows and rows as I grew. It made it to my 4th birthday, rested for 20 or so years and then reappeared on my 4 year old daughter.I am sending you my very deepest sympathy. xoRebecca
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I am sorry to see that your Dad is gone. My prayers are with you. I know it is hard to lose a parent.Patricia
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Erin,You have my sympathy. How brave and generous of you to share this with your blog readers. Take it one day or hour at a time. Grieving is hard work, take extra special care of yourself at this time. I am adding a Hug to the many above.
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I’ll bet he saw you and told those around him: “That’s MY girl, and she made that dress she’s wearing just for me. Got a minute? Let me tell you about my daughter Erin.”And the best part about it is he will never have to worry about only having a minute to talk about you any more. Eternity gives you time to tell about the ones we love FOREVER and ever.
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Eric, I’m so sorry. The dress and the post are both beautiful tributes.
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Oh, Erin, I doubt that you will get to my comment all the way down here, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost your Dad. My Mum died last year and I also made a dress for her funeral. Your post exactly mirrored my feelings at that time. My dress was a simple black dress, with tiny white polka dots, a peter pan collar and a keyhole opening at the neckline. I made the skirt a little more full so that it wouldn’t cling to me in the heat, but the collar kept blowing up in the wind. One of the nicest comments I had that day was that my mother would have loved my dress. I can now wear the dress, but it still feels a little sad. I try to wear it on days that I know will be lovely as Mum wouldn’t like me to leave it languishing in my closet.
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How honoured your dress must feel to be made with such gentle patience and love and to be given such an important role to play for you at this time. Warm wishes to you and your family.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
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My heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your father. You shared a lovely tribute to him. May you and your family find comfort in happy memories.
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Erin, what a touching tribute. My sympathies to you and your family.
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Erin, you know you are a real seamstress when you can make the perfect dress for literally every occasion. Hats off to you. My thoughts are with you, and all my sympathy.Anna
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Erin, So sorry to hear of your loss.
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Erin, So sorry to hear of your loss.
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I know I’m just one of many; I almost didn’t leave a comment. But I couldn’t read your post and not leave my sympathies. I’m so sorry for your loss. The dress is beautiful; I know your dad would have been proud.
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I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. When we buried my mom two years ago, one of my daughter’s wore a dress that had been made for my mom when she was a teenager. I am still in awe of the aunts and cousins of my mom who commented on the dress that my moms Granny White had made for her. They had stories to tell of the dresses made for my mom, and appreciated so much by her. I really believe our clothes create memories that are lasting.Also, Be Not Afraid? I can’t hear that or Amazing Grace, or The Summons without sobbing. ((Hugs)) to you.
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I love that your father has the same smile and raised eyebrows in both photos. Thank you for sharing such a personal and touching tribute.(I get choked up just thinking about Be Not Afraid. My father would sing that as my family walked home from a weekly potluck dinner that we attended when I was a kid…so I already associate it with Dads.) My heart goes out to you and your family.
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I am sorry for the loss of your father Erin.. Thank you for sharing… It brought back feelings and memories when I lost my father at age 16.. Anita
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I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your dad was a great guy. What a cool way to memorialize him a little bit with this post. Thanks for letting us share this.
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Erin, Please accept my sympathy and prayers. Telling of his death through these photographs and dresses have woven your dad into our imaginations as well.
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Thank you for sharing this, Erin. It’s heartbreaking that you lost your dad, but the love you had for each other really shines.
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The world is just a little lonelier without our parents. It’s a void that never gets filled back up. Thanks for your great writing.marguerite
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Oh, Erin, I am so sorry. We are all thinking of you and your family right now.
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I’m so sorry. He looks like someone I would have liked to meet in those photographs. The expression on his face makes me think he was a fun person to know.
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I’m so sorry.
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Dear Erin,Your blog is my top priority at break every work day. Your tribute is so strong and sweet; your dad surely is very proud. With heartfelt sympathy and best wishes,Lynn
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What a lovely tribute. Your dad was obviously a great person, because you are, too. I wish you good memories and peace of heart.
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Like several others have said, your dad must have been a great guy to have such a smart, funny, creative, and highly individual daughter, and to leave so many good memories behind.
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So sorry for your loss. Your words have moved me to tears. A wonderful tribute to your dad.
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Erin.
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That was a perfect tribute, and I am sure he could not be prouder. So sorry to hear.
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I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. He looks like the kind of Dad that would have raked leaves or shoveled snow & then jumped into the pile right along with the kids! I’ll bet he smiled at the dress. Love to you & your family.
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I’m so sorry.
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I am very sorry for your loss. My Dad died four years ago….thank you for sharing with us.
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What a beautiful tribute, Erin. I love how your dad has the same raised eyebrows and cheerfulness in his eyes in both of the photos you chose – it looks like he had a fabulous personality, and that will always carry on in you and your own children ((hug))
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What a sweet, loving, and touching tribute. Know that you and your family are in many hearts and prayers at this time.
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Hi. You have no idea who I am but I’ve been following your blog for quite some time now, so I feel like I know (perhaps) just a little bit about you. I would like to offer my condolences, and if it’s any consolation, your father must have been very proud of you.Stay strong.
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Sorry to hear about your dad, my dad died six years ago and I do miss him still. It’s really great that you had a good relationship with your father and good memories of him.
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I’m just a lurker, but I’d like to offer my sympathy. If its appropriate, I’d also like to say that I don’t know your father, but you wrote an amazing post and I think he would be proud.
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Dear Erin–I remember seeing your dad at your wedding (another dress: appliqued daisies) and how proud and happy he was. You are in my thoughts. xox Stephanie
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I don’t comment here much, but this brought tears to my eyes. My Grandfather died on Saturday and I couldn’t even go to his funeral because he lived in Thailand. It was a beautiful piece of writing, a lovely dress and I think your father would have liked the dress as well.
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Crying with you, Erin…
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Wonderful memorial, makes me feel very sad for your lost! My thoughts are with you. I wish you strength.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.Love Janet
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He’d love the dress.My sympathies to you and your family.
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