Today’s Pattern Story: Simplicity 1170

Simplicity 1170 four women in blouses with patient looks on their faces

Here we present four stellar graduates demonstrating what they learned in our best-selling How To Look Like You’re Listening While Thinking Of Completely Unrelated Things course—available as a seminar on three long-playing records!

In this course, you’ll learn how to:

  • keep an attentive, thoughtful look on your face for up to three hours straight
  • subconsciously register pauses so you can say “why, I never thought of it that way!” or “what an interesting idea!” at appropriate times
  • make mental lists of things you would rather be (or should be) doing, and remember them even after you are released from your “conversation”!

Order now and get our special bonus booklet: How To Listen Without Giving Any Sign of Encouragement That The Speaker Should Continue! Perfect for public transit, work break rooms, and large family gatherings!

Today’s Pattern Story: Simplicity 1374

Simplicity-1374

Mavis: I spent all last night sharpening my sleeve-wings—if I don’t draw first blood in this year’s Dirigible Dollies Derby, I’m just going to plop myself right down and cry!

Doris: Don’t worry, dear, I’m sure you’ll shred the other girls—you always do! Fingers crossed that this is the year I take the Puppy Picnic Princess crown!

Mavis: Either way, we go halfsies on the judge, right?

Doris: You betcha! I think he’s almost recovered from last year.

(Pattern available from LadyMarlowePatterns.)

Today’s Pattern Story: Vogue 7337

Vogue 7337

Kelli: Honey, what did I tell you about wearing your hair like that?

Shelli: I can’t remember … something about hands? No, I remember now, something about handles?

Kelli: If you want to be a black belt like me, Shelli, you have got to take this seriously.

Nelli: No talking in the dojo! I may be the smallest Sith Lord, but I can still kill both of you with a thought.

(pattern is available here)

Today's Pattern Story: Simplicity 2898

Simplicity 2898

 

Pink: What’s my cue, again?

Green: I say “Double-cross me, will you?” and turn around, and then you say —

Pink: Oh! I remember: “I thought you were safely bringing up the rear, but it’s curtains for both of us, now!”

Green: I don’t know why you can’t remember this.

Pink: I just want this dumb play to be over and have it all behind me.

Green: You kind of have that now.

[image of Simplicity 2898 courtesy of MOMSPatterns.]

Today's Pattern Story: Simplicity 2032

Simplicity2032

Blue: What’s that?

Red: It’s a bird … it’s a plane …

Blue: It’s a goddamn drone, that’s what it is.

Red: Hold on, I’ll go get my .22.

This pattern (and many, many others where the the women in the illustration are looking quizzically into the sky, ah the 1940s) is at Oldpatterns.com.

An aside: I’m really, really feeling this particular style of skirt right now. It’s a great combination of length, wearing ease, simplicity of construction, and POCKETS. It doesn’t take much in the way of yardage, either. (Here are a couple more examples.)