Kelli: Honey, what did I tell you about wearing your hair like that?
Shelli: I can’t remember … something about hands? No, I remember now, something about handles?
Kelli: If you want to be a black belt like me, Shelli, you have got to take this seriously.
Nelli: No talking in the dojo! I may be the smallest Sith Lord, but I can still kill both of you with a thought.
(pattern is available here)
Betty: Goshdarnit, I thought I told Charlie: NO DRONES!
Hetty: Let me know if you want me to go get my .22 from the car.
(Today’s pattern image from Studio G Patterns on Etsy)
Pink: What’s my cue, again?
Green: I say “Double-cross me, will you?” and turn around, and then you say —
Pink: Oh! I remember: “I thought you were safely bringing up the rear, but it’s curtains for both of us, now!”
Green: I don’t know why you can’t remember this.
Pink: I just want this dumb play to be over and have it all behind me.
Green: You kind of have that now.
[image of Simplicity 2898 courtesy of MOMSPatterns.]
Blue: With these new “grab-bag” pockets, you never know what you’ll get! Last time I got a baby alligator!
Red: I should have brought my safety goggles today.
(Today’s pattern from Fancywork on Etsy.)
Blue: What’s that?
Red: It’s a bird … it’s a plane …
Blue: It’s a goddamn drone, that’s what it is.
Red: Hold on, I’ll go get my .22.
This pattern (and many, many others where the the women in the illustration are looking quizzically into the sky, ah the 1940s) is at Oldpatterns.com.
An aside: I’m really, really feeling this particular style of skirt right now. It’s a great combination of length, wearing ease, simplicity of construction, and POCKETS. It doesn’t take much in the way of yardage, either. (Here are a couple more examples.)
Amelia: So you want to oversell it. Try this: “Oh, WOE, WOE, WOE is me!”
Cecelia: And that really works? It seems … undignified.
Amelia: You’d be surprised. I’ve gotten out of two speeding tickets and a school fundraising dinner!
(Today’s pattern from Etsy seller studioGpatterns.)
Mina: “Don’t worry, sister — we’ll find the rat bastard who reassembled you with your torso back to front!”
Lena: “It could be worse — at least my feet are pointing the right way.”
Mina: “And — for a little while, at least — you won’t have to bother saying ‘Hey buddy, my eyes are up here!'”
Pattern available here.