Ten Reasons Skirts are Better Than Pants


Butterick 5282

[*for UK readers, please substitute "trousers" for "pants" throughout. Or just giggle, I don't care.]

1. Drawing your pants legs back from someone in disgust as you pass them is insufficiently scornful.

2. Studies have shown that wearing skirts is 90% effective in preventing VPL (visible panty line).

3. Ditto for "plumber's butt," "whale tail," and "camel toe."

4. Ruffles on a skirt can be over-the-top glamorous. Ruffles on pants are only acceptable if your name is Mary, and a little lamb follows you everywhere you go.

5. It is impossible to smuggle someone in — or out — of prison, a masked ball, a hotel room, etc. by hiding them under your pants. (Plus, there is no such thing as "hooppants."

6. When you strap a gun to your thigh in pants, you lose the element of surprise.

7. You don't have to have skirts hemmed differently for flats or heels.

8. Twirling in a pair of pants results in 87% less happiness.

9. The word "skirt" has both a singular and a plural form, usable by all ("I am wearing a skirt today." "Instantly Mrs. Bagnet put some pins into her mouth, and began pinning up her skirts all round, a little higher than the level of her grey cloak.") The word "pants" has a singular than can only be used by fashion-industry people ("Designers are showing a high-waisted, wide-legged pant for fall").

10. Skirt blowing up, revealing underthings? Sexy. Pants falling down, revealing underthings? Humiliating.

[Pattern from MOMSPatterns.]

Advertisements

96 thoughts on “Ten Reasons Skirts are Better Than Pants

  1. Excellent list! I would have to add something about the skirt’s superior ability to moderate temperatures – cool and swishy in summer, warm and layered in winter.

    Like

  2. There are only a few big disadvantages to skirts:1: you cannot do handstands and cartwheels in them without exposing your underthings2: you cannot play the cello in one shorter than mid-calf or so3: they are difficult to ride bikes in — too short and they are immodest, too long and they get caught in everything. (Ask me how I know.)Though for all 3 wearing bike shorts underneath will do…One advantage you left out: no one will see your fun patterned stockings under pants unless they are staring at your feet.

    Like

  3. I think a parenthesis took in a skirt in no. 5…but great list nevertheless…I’m all for wearing anything that increases happiness.

    Like

  4. No one daydreams about their future Wedding PantsNo one writes novels called “The Girls in their Summer Pants”Richard Shindell would have to rewrite his song that says “a summer breeze, a cotton dress, that’s the way I remember you best” to say pants and it won’t rhyme or even mean anything as sweetWe get “dressed up” for occasions, but no one gets “pants up”

    Like

  5. Would it be too off-color for me to remind everyone that quickies are much quicker in skirts? (Why, yes, my mind IS firmly entrenched in the gutter; thank you for asking!)

    Like

  6. New here. LOVE it! I started sewing when I was 11 and really sewed in years. I’m adding you to my blog roll. Maybe I will start sewing again:)

    Like

  7. Great list. Skirts have been my go-to wardrobe choice for a while now. Top them with a nice cotton t-shirt and there you go! Not too dressy and not dumpy or frumpy. I’ll just have to come up with some warmer ones for fall and winter.

    Like

  8. Re:#6 – I dunno, I think it’s pretty surprising when you have to drop trou to access the gun (I know, you were probably thinking of strapping it on OVER the pants) – though you certainly forecast your intentions more than if you just have to hike your skirt up real quick.I’m much more likely to twirl with joy or swish my skirt in contempt than attempt a cartwheel. And my current dream vehicle is one of those Dutch “oma” bikes with skirt- and chain-guards.I like pants, too – especially those wide-legged pants, which can have a similar “mood” to skirts; it’s good to have options. I’m just sad how hard it is to bicycle in a pencil skirt!

    Like

  9. an all important reason: patterned pants should not be worn by anyone over 4 and a half, but patterned skirts are truly lovely. My very favorite skirt (white background, bright red tropical flowers) would look silly as a pair of pants. As a skirt, I get compliments every time I wear it. πŸ˜‰

    Like

  10. I love this list! Here’s another one: You can wear a skirt over pants, but you can’t wear pants over a skirt!Skirts 4-evah!

    Like

  11. Dare I admit that I’m nearing 40 and still haven’t quite figured out the keeping my legs hairless enough to wear skirts and dresses thing? I tend to default to pants because it’s a perpetual struggle to keep my limbs in viewable condition.That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy skirts when the cold weather permits opaque tights. But I still see skirts and dresses as “difficult” for me.

    Like

    • There are ways around this than don’t involve major sacrifice of comfort. (OK, I’m lucky; I’m 50 and married to a former back-to-the-land hippie who thinks it’s beyond ridiculous for women to be constantly fussed over hairless legs. As a result, I shave mine about every year.) When I do bother, I find foam-style aerosol “beard-tamer” shaving cream to be a big help. (No, not borrowed from my husband – he has a neatly-trimmed beard and moustache.) Now, granted, most of my skirts are below-knee to mid-calf. Nobody’s going to see much above ankle-area unless they deliberately look, and when I worked in an office, I wore knee-high or thigh-high nylon stockings (cannot stand pantyhose) when I thought the occasion warranted, which was probably 3 out of 5 days, October through June. Nobody fussed. Claim your freedom.

      Like

  12. Ahhh, Jo, at last somebody has said it. That’s my issue too. But I have to tell you the solution for this shy/lazy hairy gal has been long skirts. I am a Yankee now living in the hot south and I have taken to long skirts and muu muu type things…the only sensible choice in the heat and humidity. I don’t think I will EVER feel right wearing shorts, but my skirts are getting shorter. Maybe I’m evolving.Tina – 52 and finally getting it

    Like

  13. Oh yay! I LOVE this skirt pattern but moreso, your text when I scroll over the photo.. you are FUN!And this gives me an excuse to run a DAD sale.. 15% from RIGHT NOW thru Midnight EST Monday, September 15, 2008 on your order using coupon code..skirts4ever:DI have skirts galore, vintage aplenty, new old stock Vogues, Halloween costume patterns and a big buncha Barbie Doll patterns I’ve been working on. Come on over, save some money and hopefully find something you can use!xoxJen @ MOMSPatterns.. Who can’t stop wearing mini skirts and being an 80s chick even though she’s over 40 and not supposed to show her knees or the pistol strapped to her thigh..

    Like

  14. This list made my morning! #10 also made me LMAO, loudly. :)Might I add #11 (Amanda, you will appreciate this): Using the bathroom in a skirt is as easy as bunching it up. Using the bathroom in pants? Have fun with that zipper.

    Like

  15. I read through the list a couple of times… all very, very funny. The mental picture of number ten though, was hysterical! Thanks for the laughs!

    Like

  16. You know….I was gonna make a pair of pants for my upcoming vacation….but you’ve convinced me to make another skirt instead! πŸ™‚

    Like

  17. Forget strapping a gun to your leg…a skirt hides your whiskey flask too. I guess you could also put a gun on one leg and the flask on the other. heh Besides…how else are you supposed to hitchhike?Angie @ *capricornvintage*

    Like

  18. jo, I waxed my legs for a number of years and it really did make a difference. I still have some hair on my legs but it’s not very noticeable. If I’m feeling really self-conscious, I just wear long skirts.I think #1 and #10 are my favorites, as well as the hovertext. I love View A in the pattern, the “tulip” hem on the skirt.

    Like

  19. I would wear skirts more often if it weren’t for pantyhose. (And no, I’m not going to go without. Nobody needs to see my pale blotchy legs.)In winter, when I can wear opaque tights that last more than two days, is when I wear more skirts and dresses.

    Like

  20. Great list, timely reminder for me. I just purchased my first two vintage patterns today, for skirts!Reading through the comments reminds me that I ALWAYS wore shorts under my skirts as a child, so that I could climb on the monkey bars!

    Like

  21. OMG–you’re #10 msde me fall over laughing! When I was a newly wed, the hubby and MIL and I were shopping at a mall. She was a lady in her 60’s, slightly heavy, and had some problems getting around, so she usually wore pants because they the most comfortable for her. When we’d been there for awhile, she came up to me clutching her waist and said we had to leave right then. It really worried me and I asked her what was wrong, was she sick? She started laughing and said no, the elastic on her underwear had broken and she couldn’t keep them up! She also said if she’d had a dress on, she would’ve just let let them fall down and keep right on walking, and she would have, too!! That’s been one of my favorite memories of her after 30 years–just the look on her face alone was priceless!

    Like

  22. You can so turn a cartwheel is a skirt, I do so often. (I admit that handstands present a problem, wear underwear you don’t mind showing off!) Centrifugal force will keep your skirt where it belongs during a cartwheel no problem.

    Like

  23. Reading this blog: pricelessBy the way, I have wanted to make a scalloped hem gored skirt, but how do you hem it? Or do you have to put a facing on?

    Like

  24. I was going to say ‘add “muffin-tops” to number 3, but I suppose that you can have muffin-tops with a skirt. Not that I’ve ever seen that happen – maybe skirt-wearers are to sensible to try to cram themselves into way-too-small clothing.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s