Dress a Day reader Kathy writes:
After reading a few of your recent posts; notably your rant on airplane-riding gear, and your quote from Ruskin, which had me in great hopes that maybe this would be my lucky week when a good dressmaker, loyal to the dressmakers creed, would chase me and my ill-suited clothing down and "fix it" – I was left shaking my head (in the sideways direction), in my non-dressmaking ways of wondering how to dress myself better.
I mean, the only things currently stopping me right now are the facts that I don't sew, and get rather down-in-the-dumps very quickly while shopping, due to the moths flying out of the pocketbook. It's a difficult art to find appropriate clothing (for work and play and air travel and the like) on a tight budget, (ok, and devoting some of that budget to other passions, such as drumsticks) – and knowing that most of the clothing that is found on the budget is doomed to quickly fall apart, and in some ways is disposable. I wondered how your blog-readers tackle this issue – a few good well-made outfits? Sewing as much of their own clothing as possible (it doesn't seem a money saver with so much made-in-china out there). The thrift shops?
I'd like to thank Kathy for writing in and allowing me to dispense with the idea that it takes a great deal of money to be well-dressed. (It can take a great deal of money to be fashionably dressed, but fashion has never been the goal here on this blog, as you all probably know by now.) To dress attractively, in a way that makes you happy, does not take a lot of money. I pretty much *never* spend more than $100 on any one thing, and that includes coats and shoes. I usually spend less than $50.
The first, and hardest part, is to find out HOW you want to dress. What makes you feel capable, confident, attractive? What makes you happy? Sort out the clothes you own now and separate them into 'happy' and 'bleh' piles. What do the happy things have in common? Cut? Color? Fabric? Fit? Make lists of your happy and unhappy clothes and try to figure out where the gaps are. Feel like you 'need' black trousers, but every pair you own is on top of the 'bleh' pile? maybe the ones you have don't fit. Or are the wrong fabric (if they are that horrible poly-rayon, they are the wrong fabric). Or are the wrong cut (low-rise trousers that you have to keep tugging up, maybe)? Maybe you don't need black trousers. Would you prefer a nice knee-length black skirt? Check the congruence between your clothes and your Actual Life. Do you have a bunch of silk trousers but you spend all your time on the floor playing Legos? Work in a creative field but have nothing but navy-blue suits?
Once you have your 'wants' list, don't go shopping immediately. No, really, don't. You'll only convince the universe to remove all suitable garments from your immediate tri-state area. (The universe is a practical joker.) Live with only your happy clothes for a while. This will help flush out any 'bleh' clothes that are hiding among your happy ones. Try NOT to wear your bleh clothes at all. Not once. Put them in a box and tape it shut. Put something heavy and messy to move on top of the box (I recommend a half-built Lego project).
After wearing your happy clothes for a while, revisit your 'wants' list. Do you really need everything on it, or could you get by without a few of the things? Did you find yourself missing anything in the 'bleh' box?
Now it's time to shop. The best time to shop is when you don't need anything, but that's difficult when you're trying to build a wardrobe. The first thing to do is make a list of all your 'bleh' triggers. These are things you buy that go automatically into the 'bleh' pile. For me, a HUGE 'bleh' pitfall is the cardigan sweater that is too long from shoulder to hip. If I buy one, thinking "it'll be okay" or "I'll shrink it somehow", or "I'm sure I'm due for my 35-year-old growth spurt" it NEVER works. So on my DO NOT BUY list, right there at the top, with a big star next to it, is LONG CARDIGANS. Next to it is BUTTON-FRONT BLOUSES. I keep buying them and hardly ever wear them. Then there's the TOO-NARROW SHOES. (I have wide-ish feet, and no amount of pleading 'but those shoes are SO CUTE' ever persuades them to become narrower.) Your list will differ, but if your 'bleh' pile is full of low-rise pants or turtleneck sweaters, and there are NO low-rise pants or turtlenecks in your 'happy' pile, put low-rise pants and turtlenecks on your trigger list.
Then check your happy list and see what you wear to *death*. I love little cotton jackets with pockets, and I hate to buy them because they're always, even on sale, at the top of my price range. (I also hate to sew them, because I dislike sewing linings.) But once I find one I like, I wear it to death. So I remind myself to buy ONE little jacket instead of three BLEH, too-long sweaters.
I prefer to shop thrift stores, consignment stores, eBay, TJMaxx/Marshall's/Filene's/Nordstrom Rack, outlets, and sale racks. But in order to do this you have to have a body of knowledge about what fits you and what brands you like. To learn this, you need to go try a LOT of things on. Go to a big mall, and take a notebook! Try on *everything* that catches your eye, even if it's a line that you think is *way* too expensive for you, or in stores that are not quite your demographic (stores like Caché and The Limited come to mind — and remember, the sale racks in stores that aren't your demographic are more likely to have what you want, since their 'regular' customers didn't buy it).
Also: I need not mention that if you are trying on clothes that you are not wearing heavy makeup or perfume, or jewelry that would catch or snag anything, right? And that your underwear is clean and tidy and most of all PRESENT?
Make notes on how things fit. For instance, Ralph Lauren's "Lauren" line fits me nicely, but anything Calvin Klein usually does not fit me at ALL. Note what sizes you've tried on. Try on shoes, too. Make notes of styles you like, and brands. Try on three or four different styles in one brand of shoe, so you can see if they have a consistent last.
I would say "Don't buy anything on these fitting trips" but again, that's just taunting the universe. If you go in without credit cards the sale rack will be brimming with your holy grail items — for me, that would be short-sleeve cardigan sweaters — so I won't say that. But try not to buy things that aren't on your 'want' list. There are some exceptions: I will always buy incredible eveningwear pieces, especially if they are less than $40. (This is why I could go to a fancy party every night for two weeks and never repeat.) Eveningwear just EVAPORATES if you have to buy it at short notice, which is why you should always have several classic pieces in your closet. (I have tuxedo pants [they were only $35, but of course the last time I wore them it was to a drag-king show], a long black silk skirt [$30], several other long fancy skirts in bright colors [$10 each, Esprit outlet sale], a couple evening sweaters [$20 each], silver shoes and a silver bag [$15-20 each], and at least three cocktail dresses [thrift store finds].)
Once you know what fits you, then you can seriously shop. I usually start by prioritizing my list as to what I think
I will wear the most often (black cardigans and loafers). That's what I want to spend the most money on. Once I know that, I start searching, usually online. Online is faster and easier than physical stores, for me.
Ebay is a great place to start. This is where your size/fit book really comes in handy. Did those Dana Buchman pants at Nordstrom fit your body perfectly, but not your wallet? Search for them on eBay. You might even find them 'new-with-tags'. Want a pair of 9West flats but the department store didn't have your size? Look for them on eBay. You can also check Froogle, Amazon.com, Overstock.com, Sierra Trading Company … there are lots of places to shop online for stuff that's not full-price. I especially like Lands' End Outlet. (Beware, their sizes run large — if you're tiny, check out their girls' and boys' selections, though — they're even cheaper!) Their cardigan sweaters are a staple for me, and their business skirts, when on sale, are a great deal. And since you've tried on EVERYTHING, you know what will probably fit you. (And if it comes and doesn't fit you, turn around and resell it on eBay yourself.)
Don't forget to put up "saved searches" on eBay. That pair of shoes isn't online in your size right now? Save the search, and let eBay email you when they pop up again. (Another note on shoes: I mostly WEAR black shoes, but I BUY shoes in every color and let my shoe-repair guy dye them for me. Pretty much everything but patent will dye to black, and it costs about $25.)
Thrift stores are another good option if you have time to really rummage, but consignment stores are even better, in terms of the best signal-to-noise ratio. If you can, find a couple of stores and visit frequently. Or leave a note with the owner as to what you're looking for. Looking for a black pantsuit in a size 10? Tell them! It can't hurt, and both the consignment store owner and the consigner are hoping for a fast sale. Their thinking should be: if you come into the store, who knows what you might walk out with?
I go to TJMaxx/Filene's/Marshalls for things like tights, t-shirts, workout clothes, socks, and so forth. I hardly ever find super-nice jackets or skirts there (although Filene's and Nordstrom Rack are the best bets for that sort of thing).
A word about places like H&M: they're great for t-shirts (and tights, too) and sometimes jackets, but there are certainly quality issues. Also, H&M seems to buy their dyes from some kind of dye outlet store. Aside from white and black (and occasionally red) I never have much luck matching H&M colors to ANYTHING else.
I have to say, though, that in terms of best bang for your buck over time, sewing is at the top of the list. It's hard to argue with the $10 skirt — including zipper. There are, of course, a lot of sunk costs (machine, ironing board, iron, scissors, cutting table, pins and needles and whatnot) and a lot of invested time, but now I can make a silk dress for $50 that will last me for years, and is exactly what I want, as well as something no one else has. Sewing also lets you maintain clothes you bought elsewhere. Once you have the basics of a wardrobe bought from Conventional Sources, it's probably worth it to spend a little money learning to sew. It is *definitely* worth it if you have tastes that are unusual in any degree, an oddly shaped or sized body, or an allergy to designer branding & labels.
So I guess this whole long post (and pretty much every 'build a wardrobe' book I've ever read) boils down to these steps:
1. know what you like, and more importantly, what you don't like. Reject the 'bleh'!
2. arm yourself with information: lists, sizes, brand names, measurements (you should NEVER go shopping without a tape measure!)
3. prioritize your wants, and search for them (don't be afraid to shop online!)
4. lather, rinse, repeat — until you have a wardrobe you're happy with, and happy IN.
A Dress A Day 
I’d add a few things.I agree with finding your style–I look best in classic, tailored, no-frills. “Girly” romantic styles look silly on me, even if I like them.Try to find things that are in good-quality fabrics. They will wear better and look better on you. I am a regular shopper at thrift and consignment stores and am VERY fussy about fabric and fabric content.I have a few expensive pieces–expensive even on sale. BUT–they are business wear, and pieces I plan to wear for many years. For instance, I have a pair of lined wool crepe trousers in black. I wore the previous pair out–I had had them for 10+ years. My new pair cost $100 on sale, but I considered the time I would wear and own them and considered it worth it.Make sure the garment fits. Seams should not pucker or pull AT ALL. Pleats should hang straight. If pleats are pulled flat, if the pockets are pulling out, if you see horizontal wrinkles anywhere, it is too tight and DOES NOT FIT. No “I’ll lose a few pounds” or whatever. Sigh regretfully and move on. Otherwise you will wind up with a garment that doesn’t feel good or look good and thus will not be worn.
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I should add–make sure you are willing to care for the garment the way it needs to be cared for. As an example: Hate ironing? Unless you’re willing to iron or send things out to be laundered and pressed, 100% cotton or linen may not be for you. Look for cotton-poly blends instead which are more wash and dry.Because of the expense of dry-cleaning, I generally try to avoid garments that must be dry-cleaned. One thing to consider though–many garments marked “dry clean only” can be washed if you’re careful. Cold water, delicate cycle, and tumble dry on low heat or hang to dry. You may need to do a little ironing. The first time, wash the garment alone–either by hand or machine. You want to see if the dye runs, and if so, how badly. Then you can gauge whether it can be washed with other things.
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wow, that is some advice! i have also found that for the (2) items I need that are work/dressy, Anne Taylor Loft can have some great sales, in store and online. I got a perfect little-black-dress there, and a pair of Nice Jeans that Do Not Go to the Park. Most of my park clothes come from Target, or Old Navy. Online Sale shopping at Nordstrom and JC Penney can lead to some fabulous finds as well (especially skirts!). Building a good wardrobe takes a LONG time! Don’t despair!
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If your style, like mine, is “upscale hippie”, you’ll find wonderful clothes at the Soft Surroundings outlet. Indian embroideries, caftans, velvets, gauzes…http://www.softsurroundingsoutlet.com/Clothing/Misses/Skirts/
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Sigh. Tuxedo pants have been on my list for AGES. And yay, wearing them to a drag king show! 🙂
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Excellent tips –Here is how I built a great work wardrobe on a tight budget: Buy good quality classics in solid colors. I have 3 black skirts in different cuts – one straight skirt that hits at the knee, one bias cut with a bit of a flare to just below the knee, and a longer bias cut. Then add simple solid tops. This will get you started. A couple of classic jackets or blazers, and of course, a couple of pairs of jeans that really fit right for casual days. Black pumps and loafers that go with everything and don’t hurt your feet are a must. Don’t spend a lot of money on trendy items right now. THEN: Add accessories and trendy things. Scarfs and costume jewelry can be great accents that are picked up at affordable prices. Get accent items that are substantial in size to become the focal point. No one will notice that you have worn the same black straight skirt 3 days this week if on day 1 you wore a classic white blouse with strands of big (fake) pearls, day 2 you wore a colorful solid scoopneck top with funky earrings, and day 3 you wear a black turtleneck and a patterned scarf. Top your jeans with a classic jacket and you will be good to go on casual Fridays.Simple classics can be mixed & matched and will last for years without going out of style.
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I have been waiting to start building my wardrobe. I’m currently avoiding shopping because I’m trying to lose weight (and losing, so I’m getting too small for a lot of my clothes) and I feel like it’s a waste of money to buy new clothes while losing weight. Also, I am trying to save money for building a wardrobe from nothing but shoes (this will include undergarments). I’ve wrangled my friend and mom, who both sew, to help me create the wardrobe I want (lots of dresses and skirts) once I get to my goal “size”.This post is extremely helpful, and I’m definitely going to be using these tips!
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I had to add my own nickel’s worth:I am a grad student and the queen of not spending money if I can help it. The best advice I ever heard actually came from an Oprah show I happened to catch. One of the guests said that you should spend more on the things that you wear the most – if you feel like a goddess in your jeans, spend the largest portion of your budget on great jeans that fit. If, like me, you live in dresses, allot more money to dresses.I am on the edge of plus-size at a size 16, sometimes an 18 in regular sizes. That does not give me a lot of options for places to shop. I regularly haunt Ebay for vintage dresses, which I can often find, especially in the winter months, for under $40. I also find flea markets and places like Goodwill fantastic sources for really inexpensive accessories – silk scarves, pins, beads, and the like. I will buy very inexpensive t-shirts and tank tops, but accessorize them 50 different ways. That’s what people always compliment me on, anyway.I have just started sewing for myself, and Erin is right, you can fix and adjust clothes that you find at the Goodwill and on the sale racks, as well as make your own unique clothing. If you visit sewing machine repair shops and get to know the owners – and ask lots of questions – you can also find a good machine for not too much money. I have an Elna Lotus from 1974 that does everything I need it to do.Hope that this also helps!
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Every woman needs at least one nice tailored white blouse and a black skirt. You can build endless outfits off those two peices with ohter peices you already own. I buy a lot of blosues and pants at theLimited (2x a year ) at theior semi-annual sale — they sell short lenghts up to size 14 and most of their pants are wash and wear. Kohls is a good place too. I got THREE Liz Claiborne blouses – ine white, one black and one burgundy, 100% cotton (I don’t midn ironing) for 99 cents each. That was 5 years ago. They still look great. Almost everything I ever bought at Kohls was on the 80% off rach. I never paid more that $10 for anything.
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Thank you for this post. I normally hate my clothes. I know what I like, but for some reason I buy something I hate when I finally go shopping. I am definitely putting your advice to work for me. Thanks again!
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Years back when I worked in a schmancy alterations shop, we would have ladies come in with something they found at Last Call that was: Two sizes off. In a style they didn’t like… But the color was so pretty!!! And the price was right! It was an object lesson.Now when I’m shopping and I’m drawn to something, I ask myself what precisely is causing me to crush on this item. And then even more importantly: If I were trying to talk someone (myself) *out* of buying this, what would I point out was *wrong* with it? It could be anything: Color not quite ideal? Cut slightly off grain? I don’t need another fabulous white t-shirt? Totally my style if I were twenty years younger but I’m not? Has a detail that subliminally reminds me of my fifth-grade teacher and therefore makes me feel queasy? It doesn’t take much to turn something from a “hey-look-at-this” to a “bleh”.
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What a great post and great comments. Lots of good lessons that I have been slowly learning myself, especially the one about saving to buy well-made classics. (And they have to be YOUR classics, as the Emily noted and Erin implies: they could be jeans or black pants or skirts or dresses – whatever your staples are that make you feel like your authentically fabulous self.) Everybody knows, but it’s easy to forget in the harsh fluorescent light of a dressing room, that the way to look good is to feel good.Certainly, like anything, sewing can become a way to shop more & spend more money. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and even a little bit of sewing knowledge can be really empowering. Yes, you can still buy almost anything cheaper than you can make it yourself, but once you have a standard skirt pattern or two you can make it over and over in different fabrics, etc., it will fit YOU, and you will have escaped the consumerist trap a little.I buy most of my fun or everyday stuff at thrift or resale shops; lately I find myself buying thrift-store finds that I intend to take apart and re-construct in more pleasing fabric (I DON’T allow myself to buy secondhand stuff that I have to fix anymore, unless it’s amazing and the fix is easy). I have been making muslins (and sometimes funky wearable versions) out of cheap old sheets bought at at the Goodwill. Lots of colors or patterns that I would never wear next to my face look fine as a skirt. It’s really hard when you’re broke not to have a sense of deprivation. Here are some tricks that I use:*Cultivate a sense of sympathetic joy (“what a beautiful dress – it would look awful on me, but some tall, broad-shouldered willowy lass will find it and look great in it.”)*Cultivate a sense of entitlement to shop without intention to buy. (You can even add in a dash of righteous indignation: after all, most of the sewers of the clothes you see in shops couldn’t afford them either). As Erin suggests, try things on to see if a style works for you (“should I sew a puff-sleeved shirt? let me try one on and see how it looks on me.”) If the people are actually nice to you in the shop (and don’t give you the why-aren’t-you-buying-stinkeye), go back when you have saved a little for a classic piece, or buy a sale item or some fun sox or something. *Cultivate a sense of pleasure in clothes as objects that don’t need possessing. Sometimes I shop just to spend time looking at fabric, colors, construction, design. I pretend I am a design student (which in a way I am), noticing trends and gathering ideas.
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I shop in a thrift store in an expensive part of town. People there turn good quality clothes over long before they are worn out, and some woman who donates has great taste and is exactly my size and shape: I’ve found stuff that fits like it was tailored for me (which is saying something, since pretty much nothing ever fits me off-the-rack). I got two good black skirts and a box of lambswool and cashmere turtlenecks for $1 apiece on clearance, which is great since I like turtlenecks and my office is freezing.I never buy “dry-clean only”, I won’t buy “disposable” clothes, and I try to avoid made in China/Bangladesh/Sri Lanka/etc. I’ve gotten some good basic skirts at Hannah Lise, which is a “modest” dress site. I’m not into modest but the A-line skirts are good office skirts–machine washable, comfortable, and long enough to insulate my legs. I’m not a polyester fan but when I’m trying to get dressed at 5:30 a.m., low-maintenance is a big plus. I’ve got about three skirts and six turtlenecks that are more or less mix-and-matchable. They’re not “me” personified but they’re the “office me”; I don’t mind wearing any of it and they’re all comfortable and work-appropriate. On weekends I vacillate between a vaguely rat-rodder look involving black, boots, and band T-shirts, and what my friend calls the “hippie Mennonite June Cleaver thing” with lots of calico, circle skirts, and some semi-ethnic home-sewn dresses. None of that would fly at work but I personally believe that weekends are my time and I’ll wear whatever I darned well please.
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Gee Erin, it is so nice to know you shop exactly like I do! Thank heaven we are different sizes, have different coloration, and live at opposite ends of the center of middle America. Otherwise we would probably be racing each others to get the good stuff.
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I was one of the advocates of “dress up on planes” yet I am a bartender and I have nearly no money. I did inherit expensive tastes from my childhood so I understand the importance of quality. I shop at second-hand stores almost exclusively with some Nordstrom shoe shopping thrown in!! My pointers would be to 1. look for quality materials. Cotton, linen, cashmere, wool. Yes you will have to pay for upkeep and maybe have to wield an iron more than not, but you will look wonderful if your clothes are made with beautiful materials. 2. stick with solids or woven patterns. I find that clothing manufacturers often disguise shoddy construction or inferior fabric with busy prints. Save the novelty prints for the cottons you buy to make fun skirts…I am making a bowling pin a-line right now!3. know your body. I am tall with long legs and a short torso and large bust. I can wear clothes that make me look like an upended Volvo or something that shows off my waist and makes me look like a 1950s sweater girl goddess. It’s all in the fit. No matter how much I want to wear a turtleneck, it just wears me. Mo matter how much I hate the color pink, when I wear it I get the most compliments. Have a stranger, preferably a middle-aged woman shopping alone who is dressed reasonably, critique your outfit. I call this the “disinterested stranger.” She’s not trying to make a sale, doesn’t have to worry about your sensitivities about your big butt or lack therof because she doesn’t know you, but she’ll be kind and honest. I use this method if I am in a department store and the fact that something is heavily discounted is clouding my better judgement.4. Good foundation garments. Buy a good bra, spend lots of money if you have to-$150/200. Works wonders.5. Always remember-“Retail is for suckers”
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The only thing I can add to this almost encyclopedic list is this: Don’t get something because you feel you “ought to have” it. Black pants are a good example. Black pants are an item which seems to be universally touted as something that every woman needs at least two pairs of in her closet all the time. I don’t LIKE black pants. I feel as if I am wearing a conductor’s uniform when I wear them. I have bought them because I felt I “ought” to have them (just like I buy white blouses because I feel they are a good idea and like the black pants, they sit sulking on their hangers in my closet because I feel as if my bust just looks like a nuclear reaction in them). And then they sit there. So, that is my two cents’ worth. If putting together a work wardrobe has the goal of buying good quality that you can wear for years (like men’s suits), make sure that you are getting great stuff that makes you feel great, looks great on you and that you can wear for years. Not stuff that you think you should get that will end up sitting there glaring at you making you feel guilty because you spent the money but won’t wear it.
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Yeah I agree with above …the things in my wardrobe that never get worn are the “I should have one of these purchases”. To that end only ever buy one of anything until you know you like it, wear it and feel good in it .. or you can end up with a lot of the same style thing you don’t like. E.g me and tunic tops … tops with yoke not good on big chested/bottomed women lol!I spent forever buying what I thought I should and never wearing it, now I let things find me 🙂
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This is such a great post, with comments just as useful. I found that it took me until my 30s to admit that certain styles I admired on others simply would not work on my body. I find that I enjoy shopping for others. When I see something I like that really won’t work for me, I usually know someone else on whom it would look fabulous, so I snap a pic with my camera phone and pass it on. Lots of people take my advice and actually buy these things! So then I can enjoy them on others if not on myself.
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Well, a generous thank you, Erin, and posters, for the consideration. I think that maybe my afternoon just came off the ‘bleh’ pile. Well done. I will try to gather all the low hanging fruit from your advice, and then come back and glean some more for storage and planning. Thank you!Kathy
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My new shopping style is the “blitz”. If it looks okay and is close to my size, I bring it to the dressing room. Rather than agonizing over trying on something too expensive, too short, too whatever, I confirm it’s too short, too whatever and then toss it in the reject pile. I’m a picky picky shopper who hates to spend money and this forces me to actually try things on.a note about landsend, if you buy it and it doesn’t fit: return it to Sears! good shoes and bras and something I spend money on. A $150 pair of shoes that you wear 3-4 times a week is a good investment.
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Your classiscs don’t have to be someone else’s classics – my classics are dresses (the top and bottom halves always match!) and I don’t own any black pants because I love colour, nor any white shirts because I love small children.Good underwear is a really important investment, especially bras and knickers. Slips and singlets can be cheapies.I find comfortable shoes to be crucial to my lifestyle, and stylish comfortable shoes can be significantly pricier. I don’t have very many shoes!The main things – you don’t need anyone else’s idea of a ‘must-have’, and you don’t actually need vast quantities of clothes. Don’t own anything that you don’t love and that doesn’t love you right back.
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I have two more bits of advice to add.Pick a couple of stylish, well groomed friends and invite them over. Ply them with wine and snacks while you try on *everything* in your closet and solicit opinions on what actually looks good and what doesn’t. Then, have a clothing swap party with all of your girlfriends. You will get rid of the stuff that doesn’t work, and you will hopefully get *free* stuff that does.
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Part of what’s nice about sewing is the ability to alter. I’m in the midst of an extensive slim-down (25 pounds down…a number that makes me cringe to go), and I tell you what, if it weren’t for the ten skirts I made in April and wear all the time, I would have no work clothes. But with these, all I have to do is move a button on a wrap, or re-trace the seams on a four-gore, or shorten the elastic in the waistband of a gathered circle skirt, and I’m all set for the next size, without completely restocking my wardrobe every four weeks.
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I just love having this corner of the internet where everyone around me thinks like me! And now, you all even shop like me. I have many token blouses and pants still with tags on, I do buy too many disposable tops, but those always get worn last. I just don’t throw them out because I’d have to do laundry more often. Most of my clothes are petite sizes from either Burlington coat factory, Sears, or Ann Taylor Loft. For some reason, those shops fit me, where nordstrom’s and macy’s never do. I can buy well fitting, good but not great quality basics that make me smile. I do sew all my dresses though, and usually hem my pants. I’ve had no luck with online shopping, nothing ever fits when it arrives so it goes into the ‘alterations’ pile, which is just a sad place to be.
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My shopping advice: don’t just know your body, know your brain. I know a lot of people love Kohl’s, but I can’t shop there. I spent too many years with that being the only clothing store for my family, or at least the dominant one, and never having anything I liked. None of their jeans have ever fit me, their juniors section at the time was filled with exactly the clothes I wanted to wear but didn’t have the courage for, and… it just filled me with self-loathing. I’m hardly able to walk through one without tearing up.If there’s a place like that, no matter how good the sale, no matter how much your friends love it, just ban it. Have someone else bring you things to try on and return. Ignore it in the mall and walk straight past. Shopping doesn’t have to be hell.*every* time I post, it’s because of some deep wound related to my appearance. Terribly sorry.
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You are absolutely right about not buying the things you don’t really like or don’t really wear – one needs to hold out for the good stuff that one really likes and will wear often and that ends up saving money and closet-space in the long-run.I spend more on shoes, several price brackets up, because I got sick of cheap shoes. I would maybe spend more on a really good coat, but I can’t decide what a really good, wear it all the time, coat would be.
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I have another comment – I like this advice because it is non-specific (what do you like) but contains nice specific examples (eg. Erin hates to wear too long cardigans so they are bad for her to buy). That’s good article writing. It especially contrasts with all that “these are the essentials, buy these, then do this, and then buy these things”. Doing it that way you end up with a whole heap of people who look alike, and I never follow the advice because I am dying of boredom as I read their list of clothes, I don’t own any of those clothes, and don’t want to own those clothes. No “how to organise your wardrobe” article ever says that you should create a collection of Elizabethan-style hand-made jackets now does it? It seldom recommends that everything either be colourful (or gothic, but not simply black my dear). It never says to always buy cheap items made in Nepal out of traditional Nepalese material. I mean, who are these people ;)P.S. I like black pants actually, but white shirts, or any white things, look awful on me. I have two, I try, but it just doesn’t work. But I know that and bought purple shirts instead. 🙂
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I was so interested in Erin’s post that I have been following the comments as I work on a paper this afternoon. It’s been very enlightening to read everyone’s strategies for clothing shopping!I just have one more thing to add to the discussion. The one major lesson that I have learned, only this year, at the ripe old age of 38, is to not take dressing quite as seriously anymore. There should be room for some fun and even some silliness. I have had body issues my whole life, which often stopped me from experimenting because I would hear a little voice in my head telling me that I was too big and too tall for the clothes I really lusted after. It turns out I should have trusted my instincts, for like several others who have posted today, I am long legged and big busted – and the styles of the 40’s suit me to a tee.I guess that I am reiterating what everyone else has said – that there are no hard and fast rules to building a wardrobe. But I just want us all to have fun while we are are doing it – and if we make mistakes, it’s OKAY! It’s a process and not worth agonizing over too much.
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What great advice. I have a lot of clothes that I bought or made because I “should”, or because I fell in love with some great feature on an otherwise “bleh” garment.Shoes are a problem area for me. I eventually had to strike “heels above 2 inches” from my possibilities; I’ve regretted every high heeled shoe I’ve ever owned. Which is sad, because they were all gorgeous. (My other rule for myself is Never Dance in Polyester.)Dance shoes can be had for decent money and they are MADE TO BE COMFORTABLE. Imagine that. (My current favorite shoes are a pair of Aris Allen Rugcutters, $80. The Manolo has also recommended dance shoes to people who need comfy yet gorgeous shoes, so this isn’t just crazy talk.)
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Emily, you’re absolutely right. I tend to dress on the conservative side, but there’s no reason you can’t wear stuff that’s offbeat and still look good/professional/glamourous. I love offbeat clothes and mix them with my more conservative pieces.I have a close to hourglass shape and the styles of the 1950s and early 1960s suit me quite well.
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Thank you, all for these great tidbits of advice. A few things I learned the hard way:The reason I can’t find button front shirts that fit ANYWHERE is that they are all made for B-cups. I’ve got a tiny waist compared to my hips and chest, and no matter how hard I looked I could never find this type of shirt that actually fit. So I would go with the size that made me look thin, which (after a few washes) would turn into the size that strained across “the girls” and made me look like a hooker. I should have been buying a size that fit my chest, so the shirt could be altered to fit my waist and back.I hate pantyhose and tend not to wear it if I can avoid it. I discovered a few years ago that if you buy boots, you can wear regular socks with dressy pants. (quarter-crew cotton socks!) This revelation alone kicked my work wardrobe up several notches.I had to tell my mother (politely) to stop buying me clothes for gifts. She would pick the colors that she liked, and styles that she would wear, and everything would be on my “bleh” pile as soon as it got in the door. And then there was the time she noticed I can wear bright orange (I can, actually) so now I have five bright orange sweaters. They aren’t bad, and I do wear them, but at some point it is just “closet clutter”!Lastly: if it ITCHES, don’t buy the sweater! If it HURTS, don’t buy the shoes! If the underwire POKES, don’t buy the bra! Painful clothing will not be worn, and if it is worn, you do not look good when you are in pain.
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Interesting comments but are we overlooking the benefits of going to a professional?An alterationist can make many of your “fat” clothes coome down to fit you. She can also make adjustments for your unique body shape. The thing to remember is to buy too large. Too small won’t work and will just frustrate you both.An image consultant can help you find out what looks good on you. Splurge on hiring her once, and LISTEN!For that quality item you will wear forever, consider investment dressing: have a tailor (for suits) or a custom clothier (the professional word for dressmaker) do up a few items in excellent fabric that will fit you perfectly. Comfort! and looks great forever!To find a professional, check out http://www.paccprofessionals.org (The Professional Association of Custom Clothiers) and search by state. You will be glad you made the extra effort to look good!mantuamaker
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oh bespoke? that’s way off my budget! and why would one need that if one can sew? i do occasionally buy clothes that are a little big if the alteration is simple. If it needs professional help, it’s a no go for me…the tailoring would probably cost more than the garment!the other thing about maintenance is, if the garment is so cheap (eg: silk Warehouse blouses on ebay going at 4.99), I never bother drycleaning. Handwash is great 🙂 i chuck less delicate pieces in the machine! I do wish I’d known all of this before I started putting together my wardrobe when I started work! It would’ve saved me SO much trouble, and SO much clutter!
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Great advice! In addition, when you are choosing patterns from a non “Big Four” line, be aware that there may be fit issues. For example, Loes Hinse patterns have skinny arms and if you have large upper arms as I do, you will have to alter the pattern.
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Thank you
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I’m a nurse and semi-recently (last winter) discovered I really hate scrub pants. I found Dockers that have a little stretch in them and they make me feel comfortable and professional at work. I have to hem them— always but since I sew that is no big deal. So my work uniform is dockers, tshirt (usually on sale at Target) and a duster/jacket–something with pockets. I could literally wear the same black pants for a week and no one would notice (I don’t but I could). I buy the dockers on sale (with a $10 coupon I feel like the shopping wizard) at Macy’s. I wear trainers for shoes that are usually on sale.At home I change into pajama pants (lighter version of scrub pants?). On days off it depends greatly on my mood and I’m still trying to work that out. I recently donated two boxes full of culled clothing and there is more to go. I mostly shop at thrift stores now as I took the refashion pledge.
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I am SO PLEASED you did this entry! I need help in this department, and I sew, but I really had no idea what to do. Thank you!
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This was a timely post, since I have been going through a declutter phase and that includes my closet. I love the concept of “bleh”. I had lots of clothes that wer “bleh”, but they were good clothes. I have a hard time getting rid of good clothes, just because I don’t really like them. That seemed sort of selfish and wasteful, but it’s not. It’s selfish for me to keep them in my closet, when someone else who loves them could be wearing them. Of course, now I’m going to try to not have any bleh clothes make it back into my closet.
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One more tidbit–if you have a good consignment shop or thrift in your area, stop by regularly. Let the staff get to know you and what you are looking for. Faith based thrifts are usually staffed by grandmotherly types and they love to help. I work in a professional office and 70% of my current wardrobe has come from thrift stores. It takes time, much more than going to the mall, but you will be money ahead. I use Dryel for any drycleaning items that I get (suit jackets, skirts & pants). It works very well whth things that can’t be hand washed.
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One more comment on the bleh clothes — if there is something you like about the bleh ( the fabric? the buttons?) save the part you likeand refashion it. I took an old Ralph Lauren Men’s Shirt with a frayed collar that my boss was going to throw away and made the cutest mandarin collar, 3/4 sleeve mini dress. I squared off the bottom and sewed an eyelet ruffle on. I hated the little Polo player logo so I had an embroidery shop embroider a “sailor’s sparrow” over it and another one on the opposite side were the old botton down tab for the collar was. In the bottom left corner they embroidered an “anchor tattoo”. The old frayed collar was turned into a button on belt across the back. On weekends I wear it with little leapard print flats. To work I wear it with black capris and get tons of compliments. I’m going to turn a dowdy silk dress into a fabulous silk a-line next.The only fashion rule to follow is “Wear What Makes You Happy!”Yesterday I wore a black ruffled blouse under my “Retro Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fearsome Fighting Foursome ” Tank top over it, black skirt and my favorite leopard print ballet flats. I can’t wear tank tops alone or I look trashy and obscene — but I really wanted the Ninja Turtle Shirt…so I made it work. ( I had to buy a 2X at Hot Topic – but it fit and made me happy. They were 2 for $20 or 1 for $22 — so I got the white one, too. I’m such I dork. I just love the turtles.)
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Your advice is appreciated, but until capri pants are OUT OF THE STORES, this 48 year old body will not shop. There is NO WAY anyone can be taken seriously in capri pants. (Hey, where’s the rest of your pants lady!?)Also, the garments passing as suits these days are laughable. Men don’t wear polyester hip-huggers and short sleeved suit jackets. Why must women?My favorite sources for clothes are now the local thrift stores. They are the only place I can get waist high, tapered leg slacks. The suits are scarce (maybe women don’t donate suits). Maybe I’ll buy a man’s suit for $10 then cut it apart and rebuild it for my body…
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I think it depends where you work and what your job is whether or not you are taken seriously in capris (or even your favorite Ninja Turtle Shirt.) I am a Marketing and Advertising Specialist. I am EXPECTED to be Creative, trendy — ahead of the trends even. I was anti-capris, but I often have to support outdoor events in the HOT SC summer — and I just do not wear shorts (unless they are VERY stylish city shorts) I was tired of schlepping around in my dresses and skirts — so I found a very nice, tailored cuffed pair of black capris – that actually look good on my 41 year old figure and they are my favorite pants.Which is saying a lot as I HATE pants. ( I found tham at the Limited. I’m short, long waisted and chubby – so it is possible.) Sometimes, I even wear them in the winter with a fitted jacket and knee high boots. 90% of the time I wear my “I-made-it-myself” dresses.
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I think the lesson I really, really need to have hammered home is: even if you have one just like it, sometimes you should buy it. I would wear a cap-sleeved, fitted button-down every single day of my life, if I could. But I’ve passed over ones that fit, even when I could afford them, because “I have too many things like this.” Well, the reason I have too many is that they look good on me and I like wearing them! And they go with everything I own, year-round! So maybe I should just stop dithering, and buy the damn things already.
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It was mentioned once previously in the comments but I’d like to reiterate the idea of a clothing swap party. I am in love with them! They help me get rid of the “too nice to give to a stranger” clothes in the closet that are my “bleh”s but are still lovely garments. And I have been amazed at the wonderful things I have gotten from others at the parties, even though I am an unusual size. I realized a while back that about 10% of my heavy-rotation garments have come from clothing swaps (along with 80% sewn by me and 10% RTW). At the end of the party you bag up all the leftover clothes to donate.In hosting a party try to invite people in size pairs so everybody will have someone to trade with, put out snacks, and encourage trying on of the clothes and “walk offs” when two people want the same thing. They are really fun.
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One more thing no one’s mentioned: Measure yourself. Know your bust size off the top of your head. Also measure your favourite clothes so you know what size will fit you. This also helps you weed out the too short/long/wide/crazy sleeves issues.
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I feel I must put my two cents in regarding poly-rayon blends. I have tons of pants I’ve made from such fabrics because I am terribly allergic to wool. If you look, you can find pretty decent blends that include polyester. So don’t diss my pants, man!I am very difficult to fit on top because I have broad, forward shoulders. So most of my sewing time is spent making really nice pants — Issey Miyake, DKNY, Calvin Klein, etc. — from Vogue patterns. I line them with good lining and take very good care of them. For fly-front pants, I use a contrasting color for the zipper! Then I buy knit tops in many colors. I have to dress up at work every day (including Fridays!), so this works for me.And another thing: so what if it takes time to sew? It takes time to shop! I LOVE to sew and I enjoy spending 2 or 3 hours humming to myself as I do it. It cleanses my brain. I don’t think the time investment should be considered a downside to sewing your own clothes. I can make a pair of simple pants with an invisible zipper up the back AND a lining in 2 hours or less. I can make a pair of wacky lounging pants in 1 hour — including cutting out the fabric. The sewing is the best part! Fighting the crowds at the mall is not going to cleanse your brain.
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About ironing for cotton, linen & rayon, if I have to iron it, it never gets worn. So I discovered this trick.If you can put the item in the dryer for 5 minutes, (and even rayon will usually take that, as long as it’s not in there with blue jeans) and then hang it up, or out on the line to finish drying, you may find with many items that no ironing is necessary.This almost may work better if the weather is damp. I discovered living in Oregon that hanging a linen dress out on the covered porch for several days led to a completely wrinkle-free dress.The system in England when I was a kid, was to hang items out in the coal shed for a couple of days, and then put them in the drying (warming?) cupboard for a couple of days, folded softly. They came out light and soft and without wrinkles.
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wonderful post! I feel quite inspired now to go home and rip apart my closet, throwing my clothes into the “bleh” and “happy” piles! What fun! Thanks!
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As a tip from someone who knows how to powershop at Macy’s, scour the sales racks and if you have a credit card, buy what you love, even if it’s a little pricey when you see it. Prices can be adjusted up to six months from original purchase and saturday mornings are best because of their sales. I’ve bought $100+ dresses there and had them reduced to $40 each. Just keep all your tags and receipts.I’ve found that in the long run, it’s cheaper to invest in classic pieces and then update them each season with a cheap, trendy top or accessory. My wardrobe is black, white, and gray. It becomes new with a red flat or a yellow shirt.Finally, if you’re small enough, look in the kids’ section. My favorite minidress is a lot longer on someone a foot shorter than me. It only took me ten minutes to cut off the straps and handsew a few stitches to make it fit.
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Fascinating post and comments. We just moved and I now have a dream of a walk-in closet. I can see every article in the closet. I have also lost about 25 pounds and things are getting loose and sloppy and after reading Timmel Fabrics articles on SWAP sewing, I’m getting inspired. I don’t quite have my sewing room set up yet, but between curtains for the new house, I plan on doing some sewing for me. Some of my summer shorts are 15 years old–I think I’m due! It certainly helps to have some good advice to keep in mind while deciding what I really need.I too hate those articles that says everyone really needs a $200+ jacket, etc….. I NEVER wear suit jackets. I’m a 51 year old disabled woman who craves comfort in my own sense of style.
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