I'm in THE MACHINE OF DEATH

Not a literal MACHINE OF DEATH, thank goodness. A story anthology! (About a machine that tells you how you are going to die.)

See, here I am!

Picture 1

The illustration is by the very talented Carly Monardo; here's a snippet.

Picture 2

The very, very nice guys behind THE MACHINE OF DEATH would really like to get it to rank high on Amazon tomorrow. So if you like slightly morbid stories and want to read one of mine and bunch of other people's, clickety-click this link! 

 

 

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=undefined061-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0982167121&md=10FE9736YVPPT7A0FBG2&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr PS: No dresses were harmed in the creation of this story.

You've Got to Fight The Power (with an ascot)

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This dress brings to mind three scenarios for me:

— Flight attendant (a trained pilot herself) manages to land plane safely after rude, chauvinistic pilot eats a bad egg-salad sandwich and spends flight moaning in lavatory. After landing, she gets his job!

— Crusading journalist takes on City Hall (and town's rude, chauvinistic mayor) and wins! 

— 1970s unfulfilled suburban housewife goes back to work as charismatic teacher for school full of written-off, disadvantaged youth, fights rude, chauvinistic principal and wins!

In short, this pattern is made of WIN. Something about the yoke + neck scarf + jaunty pockets combo just leads to triumphs over the patriarchy. I don't know what it is. 

This pattern is from Sheila at Out of the Ashes, who is having a sale this weekend: 15% off, starting today and ending Sunday night. (Coupon code is GLAMIS.) Got any entrenched jerks who need fighting?

Shillings and Ginger Beer

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I dare anyone who ever spent time reading British children's literature to look at this pattern and not want to spend the rest of the day reading E. Nesbit, Noel Streatfeild, or even C.S. Lewis. (Or Edward Eager, although he's not a Brit.) Preferably on the couch, under an afghan, while drinking cocoa. (Or ginger beer.)

(This could be Susan and Lucy — couldn't it? The youngest girl is always full of pluck, right? Pattern is from Tina at What I Found Vintage.) 

Feel free to reminisce about your favorite children's books in the comments … 

If I Were A Betting Woman

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I wish there were some kind of Tote for betting whether certain dresses will appear at awards shows. I suppose there's some kind of problem with it (e.g., enterprising starlets could back a certain designer and then make a killing by just wearing the right dress) but it would be a lot more fun than fantasy football, in my opinion.

If there were such an animal, I'd put my money on this J. Mendel gown. Jewelry-friendly neckline, interesting color/pattern, and you could actually eat some of those cocktail-hour canapés in it, no? 

I'd like to see this with very strappy, very high bronze (or copper) platform sandals. And a matching clutch. But no sapphires; too matchy-matchy. Rose gold, maybe? Opals would be more interesting. (Does anyone else believe the superstition that buying an opal for yourself is bad luck? I would be draped in opals if I didn't believe this, I swear.)

You know who would look great in this? Emily Deschanel

Book Review: 1,000 Clever Sewing Shortcuts and Tips

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Deepika (disclosure: PatternReview.com advertises on this blog) sent me a copy of the new PatternReview book, 1,000 Clever Sewing Shortcuts and Tips: Top-Rated Favorites from Sewing Fans and Master Teachers, and boy, am I happy to have it.

I love books of tips because they reinforce two of my prized assumptions: first, that no one is ever so much of an expert that they can't LEARN SOMETHING NEW, and second, that bite-sized pieces of information are always more fun than long tracts.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for huge, project-based books (I think I still have a copy of a book called 'Make Your Own Mission Furniture' around here somewhere) but in my current reality, it's as much as I can manage to learn that (for instance) you can fold the fabric in the seam allowance perpendicular to the stitching line and clip notches OUTWARD, letting you have nice neat notches in curves without the risk of cutting into the stitching! (Which I do with regularity.) 

Some of the other tips I will be using:

  • make cardboard templates to make spacing guides — I really need one of these for pockets, so I remember that the best spacing for a pocket opening for me is about 5 inches … 
  • use fusible interfacing instead of tape to shorten or lengthen pattern pieces (genius!)
  • take apart a jeweled stretch bracelet for gorgeous sew-on decorations — they already have holes!
  • buttons too shiny? Sand 'em down with fine-grit sandpaper or an emery board.

I really like that this book is organized by category — makes it easier to find tips that apply just to the difficult project you're currently tearing your hair out over. And part of this book's charm is that some of the tips are really cautionary tales, of the "don't let this happen to you" variety — who doesn't identify with a good story about a heinous mistake? 

I also recommend reading it with a bunch of little sticky notes, so that you can mark the pages of the tips you want to try for yourself! 

Hypothetical Upon Hypothetical

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If I were in the market for a wedding dress (which I'm not) and I were about a size 6 (which I'm not) and I had a budget of about $1500 for a wedding dress (which I didn't even when I was in the market for a wedding dress), I'd be looking real hard at this lovely gown from Shrimpton Couture

She's got all the details, so you should really check out her writeup. This is just one gorgeous dress, and I don't think it was originally intended as a bridal gown, which somehow makes it better. (Not sure why, it just does.)

The lovely champagne color makes this a nice gown for an evening wedding. Think candlelight … 

Secret Lives of Dresses Vol. 16

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She always was straightforward. I felt her square her shoulders and take a deep breath. It made the buttons strain, just a tiny bit.

"Hal." She looked him right in the eye.

He was always perceptive. He didn't give her a chance to go on. He just said "I thought so." There was that half-grin, and the accompanying shrug. His hands in his pockets, not fidgeting, just there. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Her hands smoothed the front of her skirt. If she had been a nervous person, that would have been her nervous habit.

"Ladies first …" 

"Always the gentleman." 

"Just not your gentleman." His grin lurched to the other side.

"A gentle man, all the same." Her hand lifted, almost to his face. He caught it and pressed a kiss into her palm. She didn't pull away, but he let her hand drop. 

"Well, then. I'll let myself out," he said. She stood still, and when she said "Hal" again it was to the empty room. Three whistled notes came through the window, then died away, the phrase abandoned.

[Image from Posh Girl Vintage.]

 

Today's Pattern Story: Simplicity 1199

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Pansy: It's awesome to be us.

Daisy: TELL me about it. I mean, look at us. Me in particular. Awe. Some. Some serious awe goin' on here. 

Iris: Although, I think it's more awesome to be me and Pansy than you, Daisy, because, frankly, we have better shoes. We are totes awesome-er.

Pansy: Gotta hear that!

Daisy: I have a kickass bag, though.

Pansy: True dat. Can't deny.

Daisy: It may be slightly more awesome to be me and Iris, Pansy, because we don't talk like a passé beer commercial.

Pansy: How's "whatevs"? I think "whatevs" is still awesome. Whatevs, Daisy.

Iris: Whatevs. Remember when we used to be aMAZing? I kind of miss aMAZing.

Daisy: Whatevs. We can leave it as given that we're all awesome. Until we decide that we're fabulous, of course.

[This awesome pattern is from Penny at Antique Dollhouse of Patterns. Awesome.]

 

Cutest Fabric Ever

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Yes, those are little orange and green books on a black background! Isn't that adorable? I bought it on eBay yonks ago — I bought it actually while sitting on a plane (thanks, GoGo Wireless!) and yesterday I was ALSO sitting on a plane, which reminded me that I'd never posted about this fabric.

I don't have a ton of it — four yards, maybe, but it's vintage fabric so it's very narrow, under 42 inches wide. What would you do with this fabric?