From Cemetarian:

DATELINE: BEDDING, PA: Polly Featherstone, the Winner of Bedding, Pennsylvania's annual "Miss Pillowcase Contest," in (as the rules require) her dress made from a pillowcase, is about to pin on her victory corsage, as her court (First Runner-Up Miss Pillow Sham, and the winner of Miss Soporificality) look on.

The new Miss Pillowcase will sleep in the window of downtown Bedding's Sleepytime Arcade on a mattress made of mattress catalogs for one week. Her other duties include changing the sheets on the town's historic "Washington Slept Here" bed, and leading the town's annual Pillow Fight on July 4.

The title comes with a new mattress, a year's supply of clothespins (because everyone knows line-dried sheets are nicer to sleep on), and a scholarship to the local vocational school for a certificate in interior design.

"We're all so happy Polly won Miss Pillowcase," said a local official. "She's notorious for sleepwalking, so we feel it's especially appropriate."

Is here!

Some facts:

— They're $15. Shipping (in the US) is $5.50.
— They're being made by Melanie at Cluster of Parrots, a small, mom-owned business.
— We did end up going with the American Apparel (#2102) tees. (And yes, we know that there are a lot of issues with AA. We totally understand if that makes you not want to buy one.)
— The sizing is: M (B 32-34), L (B 36-38), XL (B 40-42), and 2XL (B 44-46). If you fall outside the size range, I'm very sorry. When we make men's- or kids'-size shirts, maybe they'll work.
— We haven't done totebags or magnets or stickers or buttons/badges or whatnot — all good suggestions, and maybe we'll do them soon …
— Yes, you can get them shipped internationally! (email Melanie through her site for details.)

Click on the image to visit the store.

I know this is a t-shirt, and not a dress. If there were a way for me to do official Dress A Day Dresses without making it my full-time job, I'd do it, I promise. And it's not fabric, although I hope to have Dress A Day fabric (done through Spoonflower) sometime this summer. (We had a looong discussion about all these things when we first broached the idea of t-shirts.)

If you are constitutionally opposed to t-shirts, American Apparel, the color pink, cotton as a fiber, or buying silly things in a recession, please — for both of our sakes' — don't buy one. (Buy a measuring tape instead. It's *useful*.)

If you want to make your own shirt, let me know and I'll see about getting you the logo in a format suitable for iron-on printing or (if you're really cool) silk-screening.

If you buy a shirt and turn it INTO a dress (as several folks threatened to do) then YES I WANT PICTURES please!

Many thanks to everyone who 1) asked for a Dress A Day t-shirt 2) gave feedback and voted in the poll and 3) kept nagging me about it until it happened!

PatternStash is having a sale March 20-22: She'll be offering a 15% discount in place of the usual 10% – just mention dressaday. (At Pattern Stash, shipping is just a flat $2.50 in the U.S. for all your patterns, no matter how many patterns you purchase.) (That's one of her patterns above, which I find both charming and disturbing in equal measure.)

www.GlamourSavvy.com is also having a Spring Sale. 25% off all items (including patterns) through the end of March. Just use code word "March" at checkout.

Also, I'm strangely tempted by this swimsuit:

Not that I think this cut would be especially flattering on me (or flattering AT ALL, mores the pity), but because I *LOVE* that color, and I had a swimsuit exactly that color when I was about eleven. I'm sure if I lie down for a little while this urge will go away, but if it doesn't for you, click on the image to visit the Popina Swimwear page — it's on sale for $40.

Also — all of you who've ever had a less-than-perfect dog? Need to read this blog. Go now, I'll wait.

Completely randomly: I like this t-shirt.

Less randomly: there is a giant button auction going on until March 22. (That's [giant][button auction], not [giant button][auction]. If there were a [giant button][auction], don't you think I'd post a picture?) Details here. (Thanks Brenda!)

Just one more, from Sandritocat:

THE BEACH: A PLAY IN ONE ACT

Angela: Where is Helen? I keep thinking about Helen.

Francine: It always unnerves people at the beach if you turn around and stare inland, instead of out at the water. Try it sometime.

Margaret: I shall bestride the narrow earth like a Colossus! Oh, wait. I AM a Colossus. I shall bestride the narrow earth like me!

Doris: The stars! The stars in my pocket like grains of sand! Sand in my pocket like stars! Who eats paper? I ate some paper. My sunglasses are torpid. Also, pickles! Shiny, shiny pickles!

Helen (from offstage): No one even noticed that I left.

Today's story-pattern is brought to us by Patterns from the Past:

Plot synopsis: The fabulously wealthy Candace Verweehauken-Jones is not only the leader of New York's social scene; she's also #1 on the FBI's most-wanted list (for racketeering, mostly, and as a suspect in the death of husband #3, Cornelius Jones). To keep from being apprehended and arrested at the various charity galas she chairs, she is attended at all times by two top-of-the-line social-secretary/security bots (manufactured by Verweehauken Industries, small appliances division).

Orange dress apprises Mrs. CVJ of the names, net worths, and current social entanglements and aspirations of all approachers, via a wireless heads-up display accessed directly through Mrs. CVJ's retinas. Floral dress is tasked with threat assessment, CCTV monitoring (again, wirelessly), and champagne/canape procurement.

However, tonight—tonight all Mrs. CVJ's carefully-laid plans will go awry, as she will be captured, in more than one way, by a last-minute fill-in date for one of the Junior Social Chairs—one Special Agent Robert Kerrigidan. Fireworks and firepower both come into play, as their epic gun battle ends in an equally epic kiss in the ruins of the ballroom. Don't miss it!

Check out this pattern from What-I-Found Sewing Patterns:

Yellow Dress: These sleeves are the height of chic.

Gray Dress: I don't know who she thinks she's fooling with those sleeves.

Yellow and Gray are sisters (Yellow is the eldest, Gray is the cynical baby of the family). Yellow is looking to make a lucrative marriage to a wealthy industrialist in order to save the family's pencil-eraser business, which employs several hundred people in their town of Rasa, in upstate New York. Gray, on the other hand, has taken over the factory since the death of their father. Her plan for success is to branch out from plain pink erasers and start manufacturing novelty pencil toppers, too.

After several madcap misadventures (one involving an escaped goat who eats an entire day's output of novelty pencil toppers) Gray manages to land the wealthy industrialist — not as a husband, but as an investor! Yellow marries the local postman, whom she has always secretly loved. They have triplets. Gray is a huge success and becomes the first female pencil-eraser executive to make the cover of Forbes (and, for those of you who need all the stories to end with romance, she marries the factory foreman).

Today's story is from PatternStash:

BRIDE: TODAY is the HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

BRIDESMAID #1: My feet hurt. But boy, Amy sure looks happy.

BRIDESMAID #2: This veil itches. But boy, Amy sure looks happy. Is that guy over there the groom's brother? Why didn't Amy tell me Paul had a cute brother?

BRIDE: My bridesmaids are beautiful. I am beautiful. Paul has spinach in his teeth, but I don't care. This is the happiest day of my life.

B#1: How come I had to wear gloves? And is that guy Paul's brother? He looks like Paul. Somebody should tell Paul he has spinach in his teeth. At MY wedding we won't have creamed spinach.

B#2: I wonder, would accidentally-on-purpose dropping this bouquet in front of Paul's brother be obvious, or "meeting cute"?

BRIDE: Only a hundred more pictures to go, then I can eat. For the first time in three months. Then there will be CAKE! This is the happiest day of my life.

Today's story comes to us courtesy of Out of the Ashes and this pattern:

Two editors from Mademoiselle have trapped a hapless, unknowing reader in a block of clear lucite, where they will subject her to countless literary and sartorial experiments (until the demise of the magazine in 2001).

You can tell the woman in beige is a senior editor because her eyes are completely dead. (Also because, look, beige!) The woman in red is a market editor. Also, the editor in beige is on the verge of tearing a button off her jacket and hurling it at the poor trapped reader. Just because she can.

So all this week I think I'll be posting pattern images that evoke (at least for me) elaborate and possibly impossible backstories. This one is from Your Pattern Shop — check it out:

Is it just me, or is Anjelica Huston about THIS CLOSE from punching out Joan Crawford in this picture? Or maybe she's hiding a gun behind her back? I think they are rivals in the same nail salon (thus the smocks), fighting for the affections of the head masseuse, Sven, who isn't away at the front because he's 4F. (Yes, I know that AH and JC aren't really contemporaries, but this is the World of Pattern Envelopes, where anything goes.)

Later, it turns out that Sven is NOT 4F, but a German spy! JC and AH band together to expose his perfidy (he was hypnotizing his subjects during massages to extract secrets VITAL TO THE WAR EFFORT) and they each get a medal.

They don't wear these dresses to the medal ceremony, just so we're clear.

What do you think is going on in this illustration?

So, Jen of MOMSPatterns is taking a trip from sunny Florida (VERY SUNNY, as she KEEPS REMINDING ME) to Indianapolis (STILL WARMER THAN CHICAGO) to meet up with Lisa of The Vintage Fashion Library & Miss Helene's Vintage Sewing Shoppe! This meeting of Sewing Pattern Divas is being celebrated by a sale at their sites. They're using coupon code 'watchoutworld' and you will save 15% off your orders starting right now, and it can be used through NEXT weekend. (Lisa can't do coupons up front at Miss Helene's, so just put the coupon code in your paypal payment, and you'll receive your 15% back as a refund.) Sale ends Midnight EST on Sunday, March 15, 2009. Also, Jen's poor hubby will be handling her orders and is running away for the weekend, so orders from MOMSPatterns will be processed Friday night, then not again until Monday afternoon.

Also: GREAT NEWS! The Antique Dollhouse of Patterns is OPEN AGAIN! Yay, Penny! I'm glad your site is back up!

PS: Lisa: have you told Jen she's going to need one of these?