Pink: Does my butt look big in this?

Stripes: Oh, definitely. Big as a house. Big as two houses!

Pink: Thank goodness! 

Stripes: And I look like a cross between grandpa's pajamas, a deranged candy-striper, and a poodle, right?

Pink: You know it, girl.

Stripes: Allllll riiiiiight! We are going to pull tonight! 

Today's pattern is from Jen at MOMSPatterns — she's running a BIG SALE: 30% off all patterns at this link (not including the pattern above, which is priceless, I'm afraid). The sale runs until the end of February (or until the more than 500 patterns that are on sale are gone) and as always, free shipping on 5 or more patterns … 

As for me, I think I'll be looking for the pattern above in my size. In wide black and white stripes it will make the best "Escape from Fashion Alcatraz" costume EVER.

Pink Print: If I tilt my head just a little bit more to the left, maybe I can shake this water out of my ear.

Red Dress: The role of Girl Kid Flash is mine, all mine. This is the best costume ever. Eat it, Wally West!

Bow White: Oh, dear. It looks as if my dress is fading out. Soon all that will be left of me will be an enigmatic floating bow. I'm like the Cheshire Cat!

Pattern from The Blue Gardenia, where Denise is running a sale (through midnight PST January 15): buy 3 or more patterns, get 35% off your total sale!

Spy #1: You know how they call it "microfiche"? It's actually much bigger than you think — it's just smaller than regular fiche. That's why we need such big pockets. 

Spy #2: It's a little-known fact that the nub at the top of an authentic beret contains an antenna, to help send secret radio dispatches.

Spy #3: This vent on the back of my dress? It can emit knockout gas! You have to sit up straight all the time, though, so you don't accidentally dose the row behind you at the movies. 

Today's pattern is from Stitches and Loops — tons of wonderful shirtdresses there now! And this one which is sold out but I want — anyone got it? 

 

Monochrome: Must. NOT. Laugh. Wouldn't be kind. 

Hat: Why hasn't she said anything about my hat? The Noah's Ark look is HUGE this fall. Literally.

Spectral Ladies 1, 2, and 3: Oh, Mr. Mort! You're such a … prominent designer!

 

[Forgot to add — this pattern is from Sheila at Out of the Ashes. Enjoy!]

Blue: My pensive, wistful look is the best. The director just has to give me this part. 

Pink Dot #1: I don't know why that blonde is even wasting her time. Everyone knows brunettes do coy and bashful best. This part is mine.

Pink Dot #2: Does this pose say "My life will be pointless unless I feed my cat "Fussy Cat" cat food"? I think it does. This role is mine! Besides, hats always sell pet products. I read it in Advertising Age.

Pattern from Jen at MOMSPatterns. 

Blue: I see an opening. You go in hard, and I'll follow.

White: That could work … but it's still risky. 

Blue: We've been training for months. It's as easy now as it will ever be.

White: All I'm saying is, we don't have to go through with this. Nobody would blame us.

Blue: You want to sit through this whole women's club meeting without a stiff G&T? Let's move, or we'll never get through to the bar before Wanda starts pounding that damn gavel.

White: All right then. Let's do this thing. But if I get seven-layer dip on this dress, you're paying the dry-cleaning bill.

 

Pattern from Sheila at Out of the Ashes. And thanks so much to Janet, who let me know that A Dress A Day was featured on The Budget Fashionista on Sunday! 

All the action here is with Pink Dress Lady. What the heck is that in her hand? Camera? Lorgnette? Laser sight? Smoked glass for viewing an eclipse? I just don't know.

Obviously, Blue and Black are sisters, with Black being the hard-charging executive running the business Daddy left them, and Blue sort of sweetly dim and willing to go along. Pink is … their ambitious cousin? Ambitious marketing executive? Ambitious next-door-neighbor?

I love how the wide black belt on Black's dress makes her torso look square, like a Lego minifig. (You can pull the top right off and put it on another pair of legs! Very cool.)

Here's what the three of them are thinking right this minute:

Pink: Won't be long now. They won't even know what hit them. Stupid cows.

Black: Quarterly earnings should be good. Got to figure out what to do with Doug in the Western Region. He's not pulling his weight. Jerry better have the new prototype ready tomorrow.

Blue: Puppies! 

(Today's pattern from Janet at Lanetz Living.)