Today’s Pattern Story: Simplicity 2302

by Erin on April 21, 2014



It was at that painful instant that the two women realized that they were trapped, trapped together in a pattern illustration for all eternity.

Pattern available from Gray Dog Vintage, here.


Today’s Pattern Story: Vogue 7340

by Erin on April 12, 2014


Pink: There! On the horizon! Could it be … my long-lost love? Or maybe … an ice-cream truck?

Polka Dot: Her hat looks delicious. Maybe I can make some bet I can lose? “If that isn’t an ice-cream truck coming, I’ll eat your hat?” Worth a shot.

Inexplicably Tiny Person: Now! While my guards are distracted, I’ll activate the teleport! Soon I will beam up, away from this place of monstrous hungry women!

Pattern from CloesCloset on Etsy.


Today’s Pattern Story (and sale): Butterick 5832

April 1, 2014

  Yes, it is a nice day. Isn’t it? Yes, I am glad that I came out to the club with you and “the boys”. Yes, it’s good to get out of the office and do a little informal business. Yes, I’m a good sport not to be offended that they wouldn’t let me golf. […]

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Winging It

March 26, 2014

  Sorry for the white-on-white image here, but behold the triumphant future-weird that is the BurdaStyle Wings Dress. I kind of love it. A lot. Maybe because the wings are FULL OF POCKET, but probably mostly because I’ve always wanted a carapace. (Tell the truth: you do too.) This would be a fantastic dress in […]

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Today’s Pattern Story: Vogue 3286

March 25, 2014

  Like most of the other students in the dojo, Betsy dreamed of the day where she, too, would achieve the red sash, and find oblivion in inhaling deeply the sweet breath of the lotos-orchids. In the meantime, as a lowly pink belt, she performed such menial tasks as making sure Gladys didn’t trip on […]

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Today’s Pattern Story: Vogue 2880

March 10, 2014

  Pensive: Do I look pensive enough? The column is certainly pensive-worthy, but what about the wicker chair? Is wicker pensive? Skeptical: Huh. Pensive: I should be holding a rose, right? Not girdling myself with one? And it should be an actual flower, not a repurposed shower scrubber? Skeptical: If you say so. Pensive: What […]

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Today’s Pattern Story: Butterick 6257

March 9, 2014

Green: I’m not sure I have this combination down yet, can we run through it one more time? Red: From the top: and a one-two-three-four ball-change shuffle head-fling longing-glance hip-thrust – got it? Green: oh — the longing glance! That’s what was throwing me off. Thanks! Red: No problem. Us chorines have to stick together. Don’t […]

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Today’s Pattern Story: Vogue 6253

March 3, 2014

  Salt: No, you have to maintain an air of mystery, like this. Turn your head, just until you can see your right shoulder blade, or your neck cramps, whichever comes first. Pepper: I prefer to hypnotize with my direct stare. Also, my brooch spins and strobes. Salt: Well, once they’re hypnotized, will you ask […]

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A Useful Tool

February 23, 2014

  This weird-looking thing is a FootFitter Boot Stretcher. And if your feet are AT ALL wider than “medium,” you want one. (In fact, you want two, but you can get away with one.) I finally broke down and bought one late last year and have now managed to rescue several pairs of shoes that […]

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Today’s Pattern Story

February 21, 2014

  Marlene: Darlene, do you see that? Darlene: What? Marlene: That poor woman over there. No, not now. Now. Look. Darlene: Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it. Marlene: So you’re seeing it too? I thought I was hallucinating. Darlene: No — she’s actually wearing a dress without any pockets. Marlene: I didn’t know they still […]

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