Fontana of Italy, in a feat never before attempted in pongee, novelty cottons, shantung, or faille, is performing the incredibly difficult REVERSE BOLERO with this pattern.

Previous attempts have ended in weird stomach wrinkles, odd tan lines, intermittent choking sensations, and having to ask strangers in the ladies' room to unbutton you when you get too hot.

Fontana, however, remains confident that this pattern will be the one to pull it off. "It will take a special kind of woman to help me complete my dream. Preferably, one who never sits down. That would be ideal."

Independent observers are skeptical. "Even if he does pull it off," said one Austrian judge who preferred to remain anonymous, "Everyone knows the Russian judge will give him lower marks on principle. As will Chanel."

Thanks to Lisa for sending me the link to this eBay auction …

You know, as much as we make fun of pattern illustrations, sometimes we need to be reminded of the alternative:

I mean, look at this image. The dress itself is nice enough (what you can see of it) and would actually make a lovely special-event dress.

However, the model is clearly planning to kill you (and all the other guests) just after the cake is cut, then build a giant bonfire of the wedding presents. Which she will ignite with her handy laser-eyes. Then she will go on a tri-state kill spree (still wearing the dress and holding the bouquet). She may, in fact, use the bouquet as her weapon.

(This pattern is available at Patterns of the Past, if you're brave enough.)

Cherie at Shrimpton Couture has been doing some interesting things lately (including adding some reworked vintage and jewelry) but what caught my eye and didn't let go on a recent browse through her site was this dress.

Here, look at it again, closer up:

There are lots of vintage dresses I love but couldn't imagine ever wearing (or making) myself, but this one looks as if it could have come right off my sewing machine. Or rather, right off my sewing machine if I had the patience to sew underarm gussets in silk, which I've only done once (which is how I know I don't have the patience for it).

I love the colors of this fabric, and the neckline, and the pleats, and just about everything. (No mention of pockets, which I'm taking as 'Of course this dress has pockets, no need to discuss it,' instead of 'Pockets? What pockets?')

If only it were my size … or I were its size. Hmmph. I'll just have to keep an eye out for this fabric. If they made it once it must exist somewhere, right? Or I could put it on my ever-expanding Spoonflower list … I'd rather have it in cotton, anyway. With pockets.

Click on either image to check it out at Shrimpton Couture, and while you're there you should have a look around … she has pretty, pretty stuff!