Today's Pattern Story (and Sale): Simplicity 2263

Simplicity_2263

Blue: This flu season has been terrible. I've been having to keep handkerchiefs in every pocket. 

Brown: I see that. But you should really wear a hat — bare heads always lead to colds.

Blue: I didn't have a handkerchief earlier … I had to improvise. With my hat.

Brown: Suddenly, I'm not feeling so well either. 

Sheila at Out of the Ashes is having another camping sale, now through Monday — 15% off the patterns at her store, with the coupon code CAMPING. Have at it!

Today's Pattern Story: McCall's 6782

McCalls_6782

Stripes: How many times are we going to have to rehearse this?

Belt: Until you get your back foot right, evidently. Also, your hand is too low.

Stripes: I can't get it up past my hair.

Floral: That can't possibly be your hair.

Stripes: I own it, so it's mine.

Belt: Hurry up and let's get this right. This scarf is gonna leave a welt.

[Director, from offstage: "One more time, girls!"]

All three: I hate the chorus.

 

 

Today's Pattern Story: McCall's 3606

McCalls3606

Polka Dots: Are you sure there’s a bee in my hair? I don’t hear anything.

Blue: Hold still. Hold completely still. I’m looking.

Polka Dots: Why do I have to hold my hand like this? It’s starting to hurt.

Blue: Do you want to be stung? Just a little bit longer, I can almost see it …

Green: Dammit, I can’t believe Blue has gotten her to hold still for five minutes! I’m going to lose my bet!

You can find this pattern (and lots of other ones) at Lanetz Living. 

In A World …

Vogue_1311

I want to see the movie that this still/pattern image was taken from. Three college friends go to a dinner party thrown by some creepy old dude in a creepy old mansion on the edge of town (on a dare, of course, because in the movies just saying "I dare you!" makes people do all kinds of dumb things). Inevitably, they get separated and have to deal with scary stuff jumping out at them from dark corners. (Anything with that weird chandelier/sconce/creepy mirror in it has to be a horror movie, right?)

In the end, the blonde one dies (she's a bit of a ditz, and the ditz always gets it), the yellow-dress escapes (she looks too sensible to do anything but escape), and the one in the black dress, vacant-eyed, stays with the creepy old dude in the creepy old house (despite the tearful protests of Yellow Dress). Flash forward twenty-five years, and it's a group of male college friends going to a dinner party thrown by creepy old lady … dum dum dum dum … STILL wearing that beehive hairdo and the same Dior dress!

I'm assuming the weird necklace exerts a certain level of mind control. It's the only explanation for it. Bonus points if it's a scarab! 

My question: who plays creepy old dude?
 

Today's Pattern Story, Sale, and Lame Excuses

Simplicity_2459
 [Note: this is a maternity dress.]

Beulah: I am thinking motherly thoughts. Deep, motherly thoughts about my precious babe-to-be. Thoughts that require me to stare into the middle distance, and ignore the teeny tiny person undressing at my feet.

Hester: Dude! You're knocked up, you're not the Dalai Lama. Get over yourself. And pass me the saltines, will you? I think I'm gonna hurl. 

[This pattern is from Sheila, at Out of the Ashes — she's running a 15% off sale, today through Sunday. Use the coupon code SUMMER.]

And, as promised, lame excuses — sorry for the light posting lately, I am completely, utterly, irredeemably swamped with work. Not sure when it will let up, either. Wish me luck!

Today's Pattern Story: Vogue 9003

Vogue_9003

Hortense: It's only a matter of time until little Daphne back there is completely under my spell. She looks so innocent and oblivious now, but once she loses those puffed sleeves and the floral prints, I will be able to absorb her energy into mine and I will RULE the bridge club!

Daphne: If I can only keep up this ditz act for a few more weeks, Hortense won't know what hit her. I'll be able to consolidate my power with the disaffected officers and I will RULE the bridge club! But damn, these puffy sleeves itch. 

[Pattern from Capricorn Vintage, who is selling off her stash (!!!).]