As Reginald swept her into the turn, face contorted in a rictus of merriment, he hissed a warning in her ear. “Keep dancing! For God’s sake, keep dancing! If they realize we’re released from their bizarre mind control, they’ll rend us limb from limb!”
Thanks to Josie Thames who suggested this pattern!
It was at that painful instant that the two women realized that they were trapped, trapped together in a pattern illustration for all eternity.
Pattern available from Gray Dog Vintage, here.
Pink: There! On the horizon! Could it be … my long-lost love? Or maybe … an ice-cream truck?
Polka Dot: Her hat looks delicious. Maybe I can make some bet I can lose? “If that isn’t an ice-cream truck coming, I’ll eat your hat?” Worth a shot.
Inexplicably Tiny Person: Now! While my guards are distracted, I’ll activate the teleport! Soon I will beam up, away from this place of monstrous hungry women!
Pattern from CloesCloset on Etsy.
Yes, it is a nice day. Isn’t it?
Yes, I am glad that I came out to the club with you and “the boys”.
Yes, it’s good to get out of the office and do a little informal business.
Yes, I’m a good sport not to be offended that they wouldn’t let me golf. Or wear trousers. Or drive the golf cart. Or sit in the dining room. Or park my car in the parking lot. Or come in the front door.
Yes, Danny’s a riot. Absolutely a scream. That joke about women lawyers? That must always have them in stitches at his firm.
Yes, I do make a great cup of coffee. That *is* one of my many excellent work qualifications, in addition to being editor of the law review and my Supreme Court clerkship.
Yes, I am imagining you all dying of massive coronaries as you grunt and smoke and drink and make unnecessary comments about my ass. (Yes, I can hear you.)
No, I didn’t say that last thing out loud.
Today’s pattern is from MOMSPatterns … and Jen is having a sale! She has more than 400 clearance patterns under $5, and they’re 75% off THAT with the code ‘bigsale’ until April 5. And she’s throwing in 15% off all OTHER patterns for the month of April just for Dress A Day readers (no foolin’!). Use the code ‘sewingbasket’.
Like most of the other students in the dojo, Betsy dreamed of the day where she, too, would achieve the red sash, and find oblivion in inhaling deeply the sweet breath of the lotos-orchids. In the meantime, as a lowly pink belt, she performed such menial tasks as making sure Gladys didn’t trip on her sash of honor and recruiting new novices from the village fête.
Surely the woman in the floral dress would leave the cake table soon, and then Betsy could offer her a free pamphlet!
(Pattern courtesy of the Vintage Pattern Wiki)
Pensive: Do I look pensive enough? The column is certainly pensive-worthy, but what about the wicker chair? Is wicker pensive?
Skeptical: Huh.
Pensive: I should be holding a rose, right? Not girdling myself with one? And it should be an actual flower, not a repurposed shower scrubber?
Skeptical: If you say so.
Pensive: What about the petroleum-based sheen of this fabric? I think perhaps it’s a little too oleaginous.
Skeptical: Could be.
Pensive: Well, it will all be fine when the unicorn shows up.
Skeptical: Any minute now. Sure.
Green: I’m not sure I have this combination down yet, can we run through it one more time?
Red: From the top: and a one-two-three-four ball-change shuffle head-fling longing-glance hip-thrust — got it?
Green: oh — the longing glance! That’s what was throwing me off. Thanks!
Red: No problem. Us chorines have to stick together. Don’t forget to pick up your hat and gloves from wardrobe!
(If you would like this pattern for your very own, it’s here on Etsy courtesy of seller Classic Cabin.)
Salt: No, you have to maintain an air of mystery, like this. Turn your head, just until you can see your right shoulder blade, or your neck cramps, whichever comes first.
Pepper: I prefer to hypnotize with my direct stare. Also, my brooch spins and strobes.
Salt: Well, once they’re hypnotized, will you ask them where Marie is? I need her help to unsnap the lower two carapaces so I can sit down.
Pepper: You and me both, sugar.
Salt: It’s Salt.
(if you NEED this pattern, and have the fiberglass-casting capability to make those carapaces, it’s for sale on Etsy from seller Fancywork)
Marlene: Darlene, do you see that?
Darlene: What?
Marlene: That poor woman over there. No, not now. Now. Look.
Darlene: Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it.
Marlene: So you’re seeing it too? I thought I was hallucinating.
Darlene: No — she’s actually wearing a dress without any pockets.
Marlene: I didn’t know they still made those!
Darlene: It must have been grandmothered in. It’s certainly from before the Handbag Revolt.
Marlene: Where does she put her keys? Or her lipstick? Or … her hands?
Darlene: We shouldn’t stare. It’s not kind. I’ve got two handkerchiefs and some safety pins in my pockets, maybe we can offer to make her some pockets? Just until she can get home.
Marlene: You’ve got a good heart, Darlene. Let’s go.
Floral: I will look off into the distance as I visualize my plans coming to fruition! Or as I anticipate the flowering of my plans, which is a more appropriate word, given my dress. Soon, the moon and all its habitants will be mine!
Polka-dot: I will gather my tulips while I may. Also, look at me! I’m Sandra Dee!
Green: Hey, I don’t think you took into account that there are five Thursdays this month, Doreen.
A Dress A Day 