Whenever I am surprised by the lengths to which people will go to be difficult, even downright obstacular, I try to remember Balenciaga. When he was difficult, it was worth it.

For instance, look how difficult this dress is — no one could possibly call it simple. You might not even be able to lift your arms above your head in this. (But on the other hand, if you wear this dress, SOMEBODY will step up and hail you a taxi. In fact, taxis might just stop on the off-chance that you need one.) Look at all that ruching! Look at the fullness at the sides of the skirt! It's undeniably fussy but it does't look fussy. Maybe the difficult people I am dealing with are striving for the same effect? It's possible.

This picture is from a Royal Ontario Museum book project about second-hand clothes (somehow I don't think of BALENCIAGA when I think "second-hand clothes"). Click on it for more slightly more info (but not a whole bunch more).

Holy Mother of God, look at this dress. You know, if you had asked me yesterday, "Hey, Erin, what word would you think would be least likely to follow the word techno?" I would have come right back with "Fur, definitely fur." But I would be wrong … because here is Technofur, in all its "glory." Now I know what Furbies wear to go clubbing.

According to FreshBakedGoods.com, who is selling this dress (click on the image to go there), "TechnoFur is available in: black, bright red, burgundy, bronze, light grey, dark grey, lime, hot pink, bright turquoise, [and] white." You know, nobody on the planet can wear a white Technofur dress and look good. (Yes, not even Scarlett Johansen. But I bet Chloe Sevigny might TRY.) Trust me on this.

I don't even want to know how much they had to dope up that model to make her smile like that. Especially when I know she's thinking "dress itches … mustn't scratch … dress itches … mustn't scratch …"

If this dress makes you go "oooh, I want!" and feel all tingly? You are dead to me. Seriously. But — as a parting kindness — if you do throw caution, good sense, and all hope of personal style to the wind and get this dress? Please don't wear it with these shoes. Thank you.

The Fantasy Fashion League (click on their icon at left to visit their site, which has a little too much going on for my taste) is about to gear up for their inaugural season, which starts Sept. 18 for the Emmys. Here's how it works:

Fantasy Fashion League is the fashionista’s answer to fantasy football. Like fantasy football, you draft a team of fantasy “players”. Only in Fantasy Fashion, your players are Giorgio Armani, Manolo Blahnik and Harry Winston. When the players on your team “do well” – get exposure in the news, in magazines, and on the red carpet – your fantasy team earns points!

It costs $18. If your team wins, you get a $1000 shopping spree at Zappos.com.

I'd like to hear the designer trash-talking that would be involved with this, but the last thing I need is one more thing to track obsessively on the internet every day. If your internet-obsession dance card has a slot or two open, go knock yourself out!

Yes, I know the model looks, well, frighteningly insane. And that a dress they won't show you full-on in a catalog is usually a bad idea. However, this one (at only $24.99, click on the image to go to the catalog page at La Redoute) is a good idea.

It's a shirtwaist dress with a collar in light voile. It buttons from the neck to the waist, and the long sleeves are rolled up (another sign the stylist had no frickin' clue what to do with this dress — which cluelessness also explains the obi belt, which is not included but is only $4.99). It even has pockets!

I have two of these dresses, not from La Redoute, but from another maker, both in lightweight cotton. One is black, and one is light gray. They are perfect city chic dresses — they go effortlessly from casual with flats and beads, to conservative with heels and a scarf. I don't wear mine with a belt, but I could (not that belt, though!). The dresses I have are five years old; I may only wear them one or two times a year, but I'll never get rid of them. (Because even I occasionally need a dress that doesn't inspire any questions or comments!) They're timeless, plucked out of fashion's eddying currents. I know I'll still be wearing them, with any luck, when I'm 60.

The pattern is only a quarter of the dress, really. A dress is made up of four parts: the pattern, the fabric, the making, and the wearing. If any are off, then you really don't have a whole dress — you have a fractional dress.

Lately I've been focusing more on the patterns than the other three parts. It's not that I don't have a big enough fabric stash to clothe a small ZIP code, it's more that I'm not finding a match between the fabric I've got and the patterns I want to make.

For the dress I posted yesterday, I'm thinking of this vintage cotton fabric, which I bought last night on eBay, from someone in Sussex (and yes I'm getting slapped by both the exchange rate AND the shipping but it's still less than $10/yard):

I'm also thinking of this fabric (click on it to see the equilter.com page), which has giant 6" dandelions on it.
It's also available in a cream/spice/garnet colorway but the picture there (at jcarolinecreative.com) is very small, although their prices are better.

Now back to work so I can get some time to sew!

I think I have to make this next. You know, when I have any of that mythical "sewing time" I keep talking about. I bought it on Ebay, and, well, just look at it! The little sleeves (I think I'm getting tired of kimono sleeves), the high round jewel neck with the deep vee, the pegged narrow skirt … although, you know, there's a better than even chance I'll slap a circle skirt on it. Just because.

I'm thinking a crisp brown linen, perhaps. There's always bright pink cotton pique, of course. Gray gabardine? Red shantung? What I really want would be a heavy Liberty twill, but I'm fresh out.

I probably will make the version on the left, but here's a close-up of the right-hand view, with the bow:

The bow, it's growing on me. What if it were in a contrast fabric? Hmmm ….

Click on the top image to see the pattern envelope in Enlargo-Vision.

Did you go "ohhhhhh!" when you saw this? If not, are you awake? Go get another cup of coffee. I'll wait.

This very nicely sized (B38/W29) dress is $350 at memphisvintage.com (click on the picture to check out the site, and many other wonderful pictures of this dress). This is by Ceil Chapman, who was supposedly Marilyn Monroe's favorite designer — can you see why?

Memphisvintage.com has quite a few other dresses that are well worth your time — like this brown one (which I am so copying!) and this cherry-print one (I would commit at least a misdemeanor for four yards of that fabric!) and this magenta one. (I think one of the Problems of the World Today is this: not enough magenta. Heck, I don't even remember seeing magenta crayons lately.)

And in housekeeping news, I figured out the archives were broken, AND I fixed them. (No half-measures here, we're a full-service blog here at A Dress A Day.) Also, I've added a couple more links to that little list over on the right. If you have any more you'd like me to add, just drop me a line …

In addition, I'm looking for a good piece of royalty-free clip art to start making A Dress A Day swag … suggestions appreciated! (Does *not* have to be free, just royalty-free. And, of course, dress-related.)

This dress will, according to the ebay listing:

Protect pregnant women from miscarriage and potential birth defects caused by electromagnetic radiation
Protect people working in a high electromagnetic radiation environment from potential physical and mental diseases
Filter 99.99% – The highest reduction rate available
Filter within 1MHz ~ 1GHz – The widest frequency spectrum available

I hate that people are selling this nonsense and preying on hormonally unbalanced people. (At five months along I woke up in the middle of the night and nearly talked my husband into taking me to the emergency room RIGHT THEN to get a lead exposure blood test. It can get crazy. I know.) I mean, sure, don't let your fetus talk on the cell and keep yourself away from kryptonite, but really, this is a bit nuts.

Look! ACTUAL TIN FOIL! And you thought it was just the Power of Plaid that protected the Unborn!

The free tinfoil hat is a secret special offer. You need to use the special code "RUKIDDING" to get it. Don't forget!

(By the way, this is the kind of thing you get when you search for "computer dress". And I was really hoping for either 1) a dress for a computer or 2) a dress made with a computer print. And this is what I get. Sigh.)

Frankly, I'm only showing you the top of this dress because that's all you need to know. The skirt could be finished with blaze-orange pom-pom trim, and you should still want this dress. (I exaggerate only slightly.) Click on the image to go to this dress's listing on http://www.fashiondig.com, which is archaeological in the best possible way. In that "omg we found King Tut's tomb!1!!!1" way. Without any pesky curses (so far). Anyway, check it out. (The site had six pages of 1950s dresses alone!)

This particular one is B38/W30 and $75. It's hard to find a good black vintage dress in top condition — obviously, because if it's flattering at all, whoever owned it first probably wore the hell out of it. I have one that I treasure, made of a fabric so stiff it can stand on its own in Chicago winds, with velvet-trimmed pockets. I imagine that the first owner died unexpectedly immediately after purchasing it (perhaps even on the way home from the shop), and that her distraught husband kept everything exactly as she had left it for, oh, fifty-five years. Which is patently untrue, and actually kind of creepy, but that's what I like to think.

I'm sure nothing like that is involved in the backstory of this dress. I'm sure it was a freak landslide in the middle of the night that buried Miss Tammy's Frock Nook, preserving all the clothes inside perfectly until the construction of a new highway bypass brought them to the attention of FashionDig. Absolutely.

It will probably surprise no one that Roberto Cavalli wouldn't ever make my list of favorite designers. In fact, he might not even make my list of designers. Maybe if I kept a list of embellishers, he'd be on it. Or possibly a list of vandals.

Take (please!) this horrific dress, which puts the lie to "too much is never enough." "Too much" passed "enough" about three miles back, with this one. There are only three excuses for wearing this dress, and two of them involve Guantanamo Bay. The other is if you've legally changed your name to "Arabella Moonbeam Wolfchild" and insist that people call you that.

I couldn't bring myself to run the picture at full size, so if you're wearing protective glasses, click on it to go to the original site. The original retail price was $670, now on special offer for $423!