Today's Pattern Story

Marlene: Darlene, do you see that?

Simplicity3289

Darlene: What?

Marlene: That poor woman over there. No, not now. Now. Look.

Darlene: Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it.

Marlene: So you’re seeing it too? I thought I was hallucinating.

Darlene: No — she’s actually wearing a dress without any pockets.

Marlene: I didn’t know they still made those!

Darlene: It must have been grandmothered in. It’s certainly from before the Handbag Revolt.

Marlene: Where does she put her keys? Or her lipstick? Or … her hands?

Darlene: We shouldn’t stare. It’s not kind. I’ve got two handkerchiefs and some safety pins in my pockets, maybe we can offer to make her some pockets? Just until she can get home.

Marlene: You’ve got a good heart, Darlene. Let’s go.

Today's Pattern Story: McCalls 3698

Floral: I will look off into the distance as I visualize my plans coming to fruition! Or as I anticipate the flowering of my plans, which is a more appropriate word, given my dress. Soon, the moon and all its habitants will be mine!

Polka-dot: I will gather my tulips while I may. Also, look at me! I’m Sandra Dee!

Green: Hey, I don’t think you took into account that there are five Thursdays this month, Doreen.

 

Today's Pattern Story

Advance6019

Green: I don’t know  … it’s hard to tell …

Yellow: Are you sure? The girl at the shop said that the neck vine for this dress should grow an inch an hour, but I think it’s still just as short as it was this morning.

Green: Well, it’s certainly wiggling, isn’t that a good sign?

Yellow: I knew I should have injected it deeper into my cervical vertebrae! I’m going to have to take it back and complain.

Today's Pattern Story

Simplicity_1948_2404

 

Red: I’m going to win this Resolute Courageous Stare-Off if it is the last thing I do. I have purpose! I have wistful yet restrained yearning! I have a jaunty angle to my neck facings! I have dark, resolute gloves and a sensible yet stylish handbag, which almost certain includes war bonds! The trophy (and Captain Harding) is mine!

Green: I really wish I’d worn my glasses today. I can’t see a darn thing.

Today's Pattern Story: Advance 6955

Hark!

 

Pink: Would you look at that!

Blue: Huh.

Pink: Now that’s something you don’t see every day.

Blue: Not in our town, that’s for sure.

Pink: How do you think … what do they … well, doesn’t that look … dangerous? I mean, medically?

Blue: I dunno, they seem to be having fun.

Pink: All I know is, I’m going to have a LOT of questions for Margie at bridge tomorrow.

 

(Pattern from Janet at LanetzLiving.)

Today's Pattern Story: Simplicity 1018

Simplicity_1018

 

Pink: C’mon! What does it say? Let me look, why dontcha?

Blue: Shhh! The transmission is very faint. Those egghead boys in tech didn’t realize the powder would futz with the receiver.

Pink: I told them that would happen. Remember when the lipstick camera didn’t work because they didn’t realize the lens would get all smeary?

Blue: I think it’s coming in now … “Proceed to rendezvous. Ignore any Leprechaun people.”

Pink: Goddamn it, they’re drunk again. Oh  … wait!

 

Today’s dress from Janet at Lanetz Living

Today's Pattern Story: Butterick 3526

The grass is always greener.

 

Yellow Dress: I wonder what it’s like in there. In the capsule.

White Dress: She looks so vibrant. So alive. So … three-dimensional. It must be wonderful, to be able to feel like that.

Black-and-White Dress: When I get out, I’m definitely going to eat the yellow one first.

Today's Pattern Story: Advance 6051

Advance_6051_52

 

One Dress, Three Thoughts

Gray: Now, wait … was it, “you put your RIGHT foot in?” Or does the left foot come first?

Blue: Goshdarnit, there’s a cigarette burn in this dress, too. I’ve got to stop smoking in the broom closet.

Pink: I’ve had my mouth open like this for forty-five minutes and I haven’t caught a fly yet. Ha! Another thing Mother was wrong about!

Today's Pattern Story: McCalls 7273

McCalls 7273

 

 

Tina: Listen, my friend Gina here, she really wants to punch your lights out.

Gina: (nods slowly)

Tina: What you did there, what you did — well, that is not okay.

Gina: (nods slowly)

Tina: I can hold her back for a little bit longer, but honestly, she’s got quite a temper. And she hates rudeness.

Gina: (nods slowly)

Tina: So just put that dress back on the rack so Gina can pick it up, just like she was gonna do before you butted yourself in, and then you can go about your day. Right, Gina?

Gina: (nods slowly)

Tina: That pink wasn’t really your color anyway. Have a good day now!