Robin sent a link to this compelling (if you're me) eBay auction where you can get FIVE (count 'em, FIVE) shirt/bag/skirt sets for an opening bid of $9.99.

(That's four; the last one is just "eh" so I'll let you click through to the eBay auction to see it.)

I am so intrigued by this, because I can totally see myself headed down this road. I already have shoes that match a dress and a skirt — and by "match" I mean THEY ARE THE SAME LIBERTY PRINT — plus I color-coordinate my watchband with my sneakers, and so on and so forth. And in the summer I pretty much wear the same uniform of A-line skirt, polo shirt, and loafers or Jack Purcells EVERY DAY. So it's only a matter of time before I indulge in the complete Garanimals-for-Grownups experience, right?

The seller mentions that all these outfits belonged to her aunt. (I would like to point out that although I am an aunt, none of my nieflings are, as yet, literate enough to write an eBay listing. So I have time.)

I just love the idea of waking up every morning and pulling a complete outfit out of the closet. I'm assuming she hung each outfit on a single hanger. (And also in my little fantasy world, the woman who owned these wore them with matching Keds.) Neighbors would know what day of the week it was by whether she was in the green thistle set or the pink one (Penguin Fridays?).

It's totally obvious I've thought WAY too much about this … as I said, I'm almost there …

Agent 1: Isn't it fine weather for flying a kite?
Agent 2: [silence]
Agent 1: I *said*, Isn't it fine weather for flying a kite?
Agent 2: Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you, I was too busy BEING AWESOME.
Agent 1: [silence]
Agent 2: Isn't it fine weather for BEING AWESOME? Especially in a hat. You would be more awesome in a hat.
Agent 1: [in a quiet voice] I need the counter-sign. Doofus.
Agent 2: [sing-songing] Yes, today is perfect for kite-flying. [pause]
Especially when you are awesome. In an awesome hat.
Agent 1: The pickup is at 0800 in the main train station.
Agent 2: "Main train" rhymes!
Agent 1: I'm getting too old for this.

[Pattern's gone now from Out of the Ashes, but to console you, Sheila is having a sale! 15% off, starting Friday morning and ending Sunday evening. Enter DRESSY at checkout.]

[Also, I *covet* this pattern. Anyone else have copies? Leave a comment if so, either here or on the wiki!]

Fontana of Italy, in a feat never before attempted in pongee, novelty cottons, shantung, or faille, is performing the incredibly difficult REVERSE BOLERO with this pattern.

Previous attempts have ended in weird stomach wrinkles, odd tan lines, intermittent choking sensations, and having to ask strangers in the ladies' room to unbutton you when you get too hot.

Fontana, however, remains confident that this pattern will be the one to pull it off. "It will take a special kind of woman to help me complete my dream. Preferably, one who never sits down. That would be ideal."

Independent observers are skeptical. "Even if he does pull it off," said one Austrian judge who preferred to remain anonymous, "Everyone knows the Russian judge will give him lower marks on principle. As will Chanel."

Thanks to Lisa for sending me the link to this eBay auction …

You know, as much as we make fun of pattern illustrations, sometimes we need to be reminded of the alternative:

I mean, look at this image. The dress itself is nice enough (what you can see of it) and would actually make a lovely special-event dress.

However, the model is clearly planning to kill you (and all the other guests) just after the cake is cut, then build a giant bonfire of the wedding presents. Which she will ignite with her handy laser-eyes. Then she will go on a tri-state kill spree (still wearing the dress and holding the bouquet). She may, in fact, use the bouquet as her weapon.

(This pattern is available at Patterns of the Past, if you're brave enough.)

Cherie at Shrimpton Couture has been doing some interesting things lately (including adding some reworked vintage and jewelry) but what caught my eye and didn't let go on a recent browse through her site was this dress.

Here, look at it again, closer up:

There are lots of vintage dresses I love but couldn't imagine ever wearing (or making) myself, but this one looks as if it could have come right off my sewing machine. Or rather, right off my sewing machine if I had the patience to sew underarm gussets in silk, which I've only done once (which is how I know I don't have the patience for it).

I love the colors of this fabric, and the neckline, and the pleats, and just about everything. (No mention of pockets, which I'm taking as 'Of course this dress has pockets, no need to discuss it,' instead of 'Pockets? What pockets?')

If only it were my size … or I were its size. Hmmph. I'll just have to keep an eye out for this fabric. If they made it once it must exist somewhere, right? Or I could put it on my ever-expanding Spoonflower list … I'd rather have it in cotton, anyway. With pockets.

Click on either image to check it out at Shrimpton Couture, and while you're there you should have a look around … she has pretty, pretty stuff!

Moving has eaten my brain PLUS I'm traveling for work this week, so in place of any coherent post, I bring you ROBOT ART, courtesy of Etsy. (As always, click on the images to visit the listings.)

Robots in love. With guns. What is better than that? Nothing.

These are the robots capitalism was supposed to bring us. Where are they?

Even robots get cranky.

Awwwww, robot earrings!

Robots + cupcakes, two great memes that taste great together!

And one last one:

Robot fabric! I wish there was more than one yard …

Here's hoping that robots put YOU in a good mood, too. Happy Wednesday!

So I admit that I get those emails from Gilt Groupe (note the superfluous "e" which stands for "exclusive" or possibly "excess") and I also admit that I do click through from time to time, despite nearly everything being either upwards of $100 and a size 4. (I have bought a few things there, but only for my husband, who has a Ted Baker obsession — the men's stuff tends to be cheaper, like Nordstrom Rack prices.)

On today's guilty click I saw this Zac Posen dress, which I really like. Okay, mostly like:

I love the color blocking and the seaming (and that's it's denim, which I think is cool and wearable) but ….

— what's with the pulling over the abdomen? It's not like the model has a belly to account for! If designers are expecting people to be CONCAVE now, I am just going to strap on a movie-prop pregnancy belly and go way over the top in the other direction.

— I feel like there should be pockets in this dress. (I'm just saying.)

— And who killed the model's pet goldfish? C'mon, people, I know sullen and pouty is in for fashion photography right now (when has it ever been out?) but ending an innocent animal's life to get the "right pose" seems a bit harsh.

— It costs THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS. (But list price was $850! What a "bargain"!)

Clicking on these Gilt Groupe emails is interesting — I see not only what designers actually produced for sale (as opposed to what you see that was made for the runway at places like Style.com) but also what *didn't* sell. Most of the time I can figure out why the stuff didn't sell (a hint: "ugly" tends to hang on the racks), but every once in a while I can't figure it out (although $850 + recession might have been a clue here). So I guess me looking at a sale site for clothes I will never buy or wear is RESEARCH. For the BLOG. Right?

(Gilt Groupe is a "members only" website — whatever that means, since I didn't have to undergo any hazing — but as far as I know all you need to join yourself is to be invited by someone who is already a member, so if you'd like to join you can click this link. Disclosure: That link is connected to my account and will give me some kind of credit, again towards stuff I will never buy, so it seems moot. There are no dues or fees involved in joining Gilt Groupe. It may be a time suck, but — as we've just decided — it's RESEARCH.)

So I'm moving to California (to just south of San Francisco, to be vague about it) and Mary Beth is kindly having a fabric swap and quasi-going-away-party THURSDAY NIGHT (that's the 23rd! TOMORROW! Sorry for the short notice!) for me. Isn't that nice? Chicago people are so nice. (Sniff.)

I will have a ton of fabric to swap away, and other assorted weirdnesses from the depths of my (now mostly in boxes) sewing room, and maybe a vintage dress or two to give away. So please come!

Here are the details:

Time: 6-8:30 p.m.

Date: Thursday, July 23

Location: Rogers Park Public Library
6907 N. Clark St
Chicago, IL 60626
2nd floor, south room

What?: Fabric Swap

What's a Fabric Swap?: We'll be exchanging fabric, notions, yarn, patterns and bagged remnants. Fat quarters are welcome this time around. Quilters take note!

Anything Else I should Know?: Since this is a swap, no money/check can be exchanged on the premises. This is important. As I mentioned previously, anybody caught paying real U.S. dollars for items in the swap will be lashed with a tape measure or forced to count pattern pieces.

What can I bring?: See above. Wear a dress too (if you're sew inclined). Perhaps one you've sewn would love to show off to Erin before she boards her airplane west.

How can I help?: Thanks for asking. In addition to bringing fabric, please bring food or a drink. Paper plates, napkins and cups too. We're having a party! We all sort fabrics on tables. Afterwards, we'll need a driver with enough room in the car to cart leftover unwanted fabric to local Salvation Army.

Where can I park if I drive? What about public transportation?: There's a parking lot behind the library. Call for details. You can easily get to the Rogers Park Public Library on the no. 22 bus. It's also two blocks west of the Morse Red line stop, a block east of the Rogers Park stop on the Union Pacific North Metra line.

Ok, what next?: Email marybeth.klatt @@@gmail DOT com with Fabric Swap in the subject line, let Mary Beth know you're coming OR leave a comment at her blog.

Hope to see you Chicagoans there!

Historians have long dismissed speculation that a secret international cabal of powerful women had plans to intentionally prolong WWII in order to increase male casualties, freeing up postwar positions of power and importance for women in government, industry, and the universities.

But recently discovered documents, including this sample pattern (never distributed) intended for the uniforms of the new world order, lend credence to these claims.

Professor Emerita Annabelle Rhys-Middleton, an expert in women's underground organizations of the 20th century, called the new find "Immaterial." She added "If such an organization existed — and I'm not saying it did, mind you — it just might have decided that beating Hitler was more important, in the long run, than dragging things out just to have a few more jobs."

"I mean, if you really want a society where women have more and more important jobs, all you have to do is promote a culture of binge drinking and dangerous sports among adolescent males, retarding their academic progress so that more women graduate with higher honors from the top universities. Then you just have to be patient. Wait, did I say that out loud?"

[Pattern is from Jen at MOMSPatterns, who is running a 15% off sale until the end of the month, with the coupon code 'lovepatterns' … and she will still ship for free in US & Canada with the purchase of 5 or more and offer discounts internationally.]

Doesn't this look like another proto-Duro? I think the only reason I didn't make this back in 1980-whatever is that I probably didn't think that I had the chops. But the gray version, with the pink waist bow? Probably would have been MINE all MINE with a few extra hundred hours of practice. Of course, since I was fourteen, I had pretty much zero patience for practice, so thankfully or regretfully this means there are no pictures of me in anything like this.

But if you have a class reunion coming up and need this pattern, Wendy at PatternStash is running a sale today, tomorrow, and Sunday (July 17-18-19). For a 15% discount, put "Hot Summer Nights" in the note to seller, and your discount will be refunded through PayPal.

Do you know who else is having a sale now through Sunday? Sheila at Out of the Ashes! Just use the discount code DRESSY at checkout for 15% off. You might use your discount on this pattern:

This is TOTALLY the evil stepmother-queen from Snow White getting ready to go to bridge club, am I right? The black gloves are a dead giveaway — red ones are too obvious, but the white ones show the blood of your enemies (or the small animals you sacrifice for haruspexy) something terrible. So black gloves it has to be.